Ten years.....poof.

I haven't told anyone this...not even Pete, till yesterday--but for the last ten years or so, I've been secretly putting a story to paper. It's been revised a number of times and I never fully completed writing it, but I just couldn't bring myself to share that information. Fear of rejection, maybe, or deadlines, or the "need" to do something with it other than writing for my own enjoyment? I don't know.

No reason not to share it now, because yesterday I found out that my EXACT same storyline has been made into a movie. Not a big budget one, for sure, it's just one of those B-rated "christian" movies, but when I heard the previews and read up on the film, I was absolutely floored to find that somehow, the story fits mine almost detail for detail. I don't know how that happened, but it did.

I threw it away. Why bother keeping MY story, when someone else has already done something with it? I can't even bear to look at it, much less complete it now. Already been done. I guess I "sat on it" too long.

I'm not sure what stings more--the fact that a story I'd put ten years into had been made into a movie and that all of MY dreams of maybe publishing it one day are gone...or that the movie is one that I'd likely laugh at for its lack of finesse on screen.

At any rate, if you DO perchance see the movie "No Greater Love", think of me, ok?

Simple Woman's Daybook, 2/1/2010

FOR TODAY, February 1, 2010...
Outside my window... is a beautiful February day taking shape. It's bright and sunny and will be nearly 50 degrees today, which is a nice break from the cold and rainy weekend. A far cry from my usual self, I'm finding myself actually looking forward to the Spring for the first time. I guess I'm just a tad bit stricken with the gardening bug!?
I am thinking... that the next few months will be very busy for us, which is nothing unusual. The changes, however, certainly are new. Civilian life for us, deployment for our oldest, the good possibility of enlistment following the graduation of our secondborn, plus a whole wealth of experiences we've never had before due to our military lifestyle. Change is inevitable and we do look forward to seeing our children leave the nest and venture out to begin their own lives, but the stress is still there even with good changes.
I am thankful for... the opportunities that have been afforded us even amid the stress of Pete's Army career. Meeting up with an old friend over the weekend made it very obvious to us just how much he hasn't "missed out on" going to Warrant Officer School. We simply would not be where we are now, and we'd likely have gone through many more separations and dealt with much more job-related stress. Sometimes the pay just isn't worth it. Pete's new job may not pay as much monetarily as some that the other guys in his field have managed to get hired on to, but he'll be home--every day--at a WONDERFUL hour, which will afford him the opportunity to be far more involved with our little kids than he was with the big ones. That is something that you just can't put a price tag on. Thank you, Lord, for bringing that opportunity to him!
I am wearing... jeans and Pete's Kasey Kahne tee-shirt, and hair dye. Kelsey finally wore me down about my grays...if ONLY this "permanent" stuff were truly permanent!
I am remembering... the warmth of fellowship and the feeling that God just absolutely MUST be pleased with the praise that was offered up yesterday during our joint singing with the Chase Park congregation. Oh, MY. I enjoyed it SOOO much. There's just something so...oh, I don't know, uplifting and edifying (hmm, wonder where THAT idea came from? LOL) about congregational singing when everyone is of the same mind that we're there to praise God without thought given to how "good" it sounds to us. Funny how good it truly ends up sounding!? There's not a man-made musical instrument in this world that could make as joyful a noise as the voice God gave us!
I am going... to stay home and work on the task ahead of me--making this house a home.
I am currently reading... Romans 8--our "assignment" for our Sunday morning Bible class. What a meaty chapter!
I am hoping... that Pete's new job is as enjoyable to him as it sounds like it will be. He's "due" for employment that doesn't feel like slave labor to him! LOL
On my mind... the episode of 19 Kids and Counting we watched last night and the sobering thought that, with my history of pre-eclampsia, the situation the Duggars are facing with little Josie Brooklyn could very well have been us with Danica, Shelby, or Kasey. My blood pressure actually got far higher than Michelle's on many occasions, and it's a wonder none of the four of us (the girls or me) ended up with any long-lasting physical problems as a result. Pete and I really would love to have had several more children, but both of us wanted me to be here to enjoy the ones we have already been blessed with. As painful as the decision was, we're "okay" with it, even if we have to fight off the twinges of heartache when someone asks, "Are you pregnant?". It's not easy to face the fact that we essentially re-did what we had reversed nine years ago, but our motives this time were certainly better.
Noticing that... reading is not something that is coming easy to Morgan, and it is beginning to bother her that Jamie is catching on so quickly. Too bad she's just not able to understand that it's a skill that *will* come in time.
Around the house... things are ever-so-slowly coming together. Pete has his fish tank, finally, which is his mark of "home" for the office that no longer feels like a cave. Once I find the right color accent pillows for our bed, it'll really start to feel more homey and less stark. I still don't have a clue what I'm going to do for curtains in the bedroom, and the absence of a second nightstand is bugging me silly. Must. Have. Symmetry! For now, I think I'll just clean up the girls' room and take some pride in accomplishment in there.
A few plans for the rest of the week... getting Pete's schedule integrated into ours, getting the above-the-stove microwave fixed so we can remove the countertop one we've had in the kitchen since we moved in, and prepping the dining room for PAINT!!! Yay! Oh, I guess we need to do some shopping for a light fixture in there too so it doesn't feel like we're eating in a cave anymore! Saturday, we paint!
One of my favorite things... hearing the precious little voices of babies forming words. Shelby is swiftly becoming a "big girl" and her growing vocabulary reflects that. Her newest phrase just melts everybody's heart--an adorable little high-pitched "taint-yeeewwww" for thank-you. Awwwwww!!!!!
From my picture journal... icicles forming on a magnolia tree during Friday's winter storm. We had a good bit of sleet and freezing rain, and sometimes even that can be beautiful!

Many thanks to Peggy for hosting The Simple Woman's Daybook.