Saturday, February 10, 2018

Not Fit For Human Consumption

Dogs will eat anything! It has been so long since our Jake was a puppy that I had forgotten this fact, but Remus and Draco are certainly good at reminding me! It is amazing how we can feed them ample amounts of the best foods, give them plenty of treats and toys, and exercise them till we're all passed out on the grass, and yet they still manage the energy to go find the most disgusting things in the house (and yard) to munch on when they have two seconds of boredom torturing them.

I don't get it.

But yet ...

God gives us His best and finest blessings. He freed us from the bondage of sin. He gave us a mission--to seek and save the lost, to minister to His people, and to walk worthy of our calling. We have the Living Water, the Bread of Life, and the Light of the World. Yet we choose to return to the darkness of sin and to take part in those things that will condemn our souls.

We trade the promise of healthy marriages for selfishness and impurity. We spoil the innocent hearts of our children by allowing the world to tell them that the things God hates are normal and harmless. We put down our crosses and exchange them for battle axes, drawn against those we disagree with philosophically while ignoring the mandate to teach the truth in love.

Are we any better than a dog returning to its vomit? (Proverbs 26:11)

Monday, February 5, 2018

Flashlight or Flamethrower?

Nearing the end of my hubby's twenty-year career with the Army, we purchased a home outside of the city limits where we could be comfortable. Living in military housing in urban areas had worn on us, and the idea of having corn, cotton, and cows for neighbors after spending so much time around interstates and airports was a breath of fresh air--quite literally, in fact.

Our first night in our new home was an adventure. We made everyone pallets on the floor, ate a picnic supper in the living room, and bedded down with the anticipation of getting settled into a new life of freedom in the peace and quiet.

And then we turned out the lights.

When you spend your entire life surrounded by bright lights and the glow of cities, that first taste of true darkness hits you right in the face. Or maybe that was just the wall I walked into, I'm not completely sure. Either way, flipping that switch and attempting to walk across the house to my bedroom stopped me in my tracks. Sure, I was used to having to adjust to the [relative] darkness as a brightly-lit room gave way to the dull glow of street lights that provided enough light for me to walk through the house without running into furniture or stepping on the dog. This, however ... this was a new sensation. The nearest street light is half a mile away. We are far enough out of town that the mountain blocks the glow of the city lights. When there is no moon and those house lights go out, it gets DARK. Can't see your hand in front of your face, dark. I froze. My brain locked up, unable to recall where a single wall was in relation to my current location. We laughed about it and still do, but being immersed in the suffocating shadow of the earth, apart from any of the sun's light was an experience that stuck with me.

Being in true darkness, in the absence of any hint of light at all, is a strange experience. There is an odd sense of false security in not being able to see any of the things that "go bump in the night", but it's the type of security that causes you to stop and measure your steps with anxious care because you just don't know if you're going to step barefoot on a Lego or if a bloodthirsty monster is going to leap out of the abyss and tear you limb from limb. The darkness takes on a strange life of its own; you can almost feel it surrounding you.

We humans crave light. Unlike some animals who were created with eyesight that can amplify even the smallest bit of ambient light to allow them to navigate the nocturnal world, we need it to be able to survive in this world full of dangers and obstacles. If we lose our ability to see, we require outside assistance to help us function.

I am so thankful that Jesus used lessons that we can visualize to help us understand His will and our purpose in this life and the next. Darkness and light are concepts that we can comprehend even from a very young age; in fact, the unknown terror in the dark is the first true fear that most people have. Jesus never sugar-coated evil; He likened it to the paralyzing darkness that is found in the absence of light--and seeing the truth of the Gospel as the illuminating light in the darkness is a very clear word picture that anyone can understand.

"You are the light of the world. A city that is set on a hill cannot be hidden. Nor do they light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a lampstand, and it gives light to all who are in the house. Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works and glorify your Father in heaven."  (Matthew 5: 14-16) 

Can we talk just for a minute about HOW we're supposed to shine that light? I don't know if it's because I'm one of those weird people who have major sensitivities to light or not, but have you ever noticed how it feels to be faced with those high-intensity headlights as an oncoming vehicle crests a hill? How about having someone turn on a bedroom light when you're struggling to wake up? Ever have an insensitive camper shine an LED flashlight right in your face while you're looking for something at a dark campsite?

It hurts.

There are a lot of people in this world who are trying to feel their way around in a spiritual void. We know, because we're IN Christ, that they need the Light of the world to give them direction, security, and peace. However, we have a bad habit of shining our light--our high-definition, super-refined, LED light--directly into their eyes, and then we wonder why on earth they turn away and don't want to hear another word. Or maybe they try to humor us, but it's just too much for them to deal with? Are our well-intentioned efforts unwittingly blinding them?

During a power outage, we use flashlights to get us around until we can get to matches and candles. When we camp, we use campfires and torch-lanterns to illuminate our base camp, but we use flashlight and headlamps to navigate from place to place. Have you ever thought about why? Why is it that our tiny little portable light sources aren't enough? 

Natural light is always a superior source of both light and heat. No one needs to turn on a table lamp in a room with lots of windows during the daytime. Unless you're a kid who doesn't care about wasting batteries, we all turn off our flashlights when we sit around a campfire. Being in direct sunlight, even when it's cold outside, is the best way to get warm--with a wood fire being the next-best thing.

We all know that Christ is the Light of the world. He said so in John 8:12 when He told us that anyone who follows Him will not walk in darkness but have the light of life. As followers of Jesus, we bear that light, with the dual purpose of bringing glory to the Father and drawing others out of the darkness. We can visualize His church, our fellow laborers, as that campfire that radiates the light and warmth when we gather around it. Staying near the source is necessary for us, but of course, we have to carry our light into the darkness of this world to hopefully help others find their way to God. We're just tiny little flashlights! 

Brethren, when you use a flashlight, you don't shine it in someone's eyes. You cast the light at the path they need to follow, so they can see where they need to go. We walk beside them, so they can visualize every step. If we cast the beam too far ahead, they could trip and fall on something that's right under their feet. Those we are trying to show the way need to see that we are willing to walk with them, and that their eternal safety and security are most important to us, but also that we care deeply about every dangerous step they are taking! We may know the way, we may understand the path, but not everyone does. We would be wise to tread carefully around those who are taking those first steps!

Perhaps the most dangerous thing we could do is to think that since a little light illuminates the path enough to take a step here and a step there, that bringing a flamethrower to them to blaze a fiery trail would be better. After all, faith is the most important thing, so wouldn't a scorched-earth method work exceptionally well to burn the bridges we know they need to leave behind? Shouldn't we show them just how brightly we can shine as God's chosen people? Shouldn't our fires be so hot that we melt every trace of evil we come in contact with?

Brothers and sisters, flamethrowers are destructive weapons. They may emit both light and heat, but they burn up everything in their path. God forbid we leave a trail of destruction in our wake in the name of "shining the light". We should take special care with those who are struggling to adjust to getting a glimpse of the light in this dark world. We can easily cause more harm than good if we are reckless. Don't throw flames. Be a flashlight. Walk with those who are fearful of the dark until they are comfortable carrying lights of their own. Give comfort; share warmth.

Shine.

Wednesday, January 10, 2018

Bite the Bullet?

To bullet journal, or not to bullet journal? That is the question. I was actually enjoying my bullet journal as a creative outlet and to keep track of my fibromyalgia symptoms and how they correlated to external stimuli like sleep and barometric changes. And then came the nasty depression and bad health pit after the Christmas of 2016. I found myself no longer wanting to write, to track anything, or really do much of anything. Even reading and seeing previous journal and blog entries was too painful, so the bullet journal was put away, only a third full.

Now I'm to the point that I'm finally craving that creative outlet again and missing the organization it brought to my life, but I'm wondering ... was it too involved? Did I actually become a slave to it? Am I able to prioritize my time well enough to put it down and ignore the imperfections?

I'll admit it; I'm scared. I don't want to revert to wasting time on organization when I need to be actually doing what I'm organizing. It's a struggle that seems to get harder to fight when I'm mentally weak. I need to be sure I'm keeping myself strong.

It could help.

Or it could hurt.

Silly, to be afraid of something so mundane as journaling. However, depression seldom makes sense. I don't want to simplify one part of my life only to complicate another, perpetuating a downward spiral I could have prevented.

I'm going to choose to believe that what helped before will probably help again, especially since I'm at a better place now spiritually than I was before I began it last time! I'm going to have faith in God's ability to renew a steadfast spirit within me.

It's time to bite the bullet and get those creative juices flowing again.

So ... How do YOU handle journaling while struggling with your inner self? I'd love to hear your thoughts!

Saturday, January 6, 2018

Packing the Kitchen Sink

About six months ago, we took a major step into new territory. Hubby and I have always shared a love for traveling, but as of late, he's been pretty much the only one to enjoy that luxury, thanks to a job that requires frequent overseas trips. It is an inescapable fact of having a large family that being away from home for even one night is complicated at best, hugely expensive no matter what. So we did something we had discussed for quite some time--we purchased a travel trailer. Neither of us is getting any younger, and we don't want to wait another ten years until our nest is empty to get out and experience other places, so why not just pack up our house and take it with us?

Believe it or not, this plunge into RV travel brought with it an unforeseen side effect. Suddenly we had to evaluate what was truly necessary and what was just extraneous fluff. Stuff equals weight, and weight in an RV is a precious commodity.
We had researched our purchase options thoroughly and made our decisions practically rather than aesthetically (No, Mr. Salesman, we actually DON'T need a couch more than we need a table big enough to seat seven somewhat comfortably!) and we found a model that would suit our needs, but as we started filling those cabinets and storage compartments, we realized quickly that we could either prioritize what we packed into our little home on wheels or we could become the types of consumers who quickly get discontented and seek an upgrade because "we need more space".
Unbeknownst to us, this would trickle into our sticks and bricks life as well. The more I prioritized and organized the camper (and took things OUT that I found were not used and just taking up that valuable space), the more I felt claustrophobic in our house full of stuff.

2650 square feet is by no means a small dwelling, even when it houses seven humans. Okay, yeah, when you add seven cats, two dogs, and two turtles, it feels a bit smaller! At any rate, though, we have fought a long battle with clutter in the thirteen places we've called home in the last twenty-eight years, and it seems as though no matter what the square footage or availability of storage space, the battle rages on.

The only time I can recall feeling completely at ease in the four walls we called 'home' was the four months we lived in a tiny two-bedroom apartment with our oldest two children while hubby was in training between duty stations. We were only allowed to ship 400 pounds of household goods to that location, and the only other belongings we had with us were what fit in our little four-door sedan with us! We didn't have the financial means to get a furnished apartment, and we couldn't buy a bunch of stuff because when we moved again, we still had to fit it into the car or in the 400-pound shipment we were allowed to carry us to the next duty station!

At twenty and twenty-two years of age, respectively, we got an experience that we wouldn't come to fully appreciate for many years. Sure, we learned that life isn't about the stuff you surround yourself with, but with two toddlers in tow and little more than air mattresses, a few toys, a playpen, and very basic kitchen equipment, we were just trying to survive. It wouldn't be until two and a half decades later that we would realize what we really learned during that period of forced minimalism:

You don't need a lot of stuff to live well.

Packing this camper for two different short trips set something in motion in my mind that I'm truly thankful for. I was forced to realize that all this STUFF I've been surrounding myself with at home was not just unnecessary, but it was actually causing some of the stress I was trying so hard to eliminate! Even four nights away from home, I came to appreciate the simplicity of not being in a cluttered environment, and returning home to it brought all of the stress back as quickly as it had been removed.

It wasn't *life* I needed a break from, it was the constant, never-relenting drain of managing an environment that was quite literally overtaken with stuff that gives very little (if anything) back to our lives.
It's crazy how freeing it is to just leave it all behind--yes, even the laptop (although hubby isn't at that point yet, he can't leave the electronics behind). I don't have to maintain piles and stacks. It has taken maybe three hours of active time in eleven days for me to wash, fold, and take care of laundry for the five people who are calling this RV home for the time being.

Three hours. Tops.

You don't even want to know how much time is devoted to laundry duty at home. All I'll say is there's a hidden meaning to the name of my blog.

At present, I'm swyping out this blog post on my phone, sitting in my bed while sipping coffee and watching the sun come up. The kitchen is completely clean, the bathroom is completely clean, the living space is clutter-free and clean, and the floor is even swept. It takes maybe an hour a day to maintain the ENTIRE camper, including washing and putting away the dishes!



That's freedom, folks. And I'm loving it.
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