Wednesday, January 10, 2018

Bite the Bullet?

To bullet journal, or not to bullet journal? That is the question. I was actually enjoying my bullet journal as a creative outlet and to keep track of my fibromyalgia symptoms and how they correlated to external stimuli like sleep and barometric changes. And then came the nasty depression and bad health pit after the Christmas of 2016. I found myself no longer wanting to write, to track anything, or really do much of anything. Even reading and seeing previous journal and blog entries was too painful, so the bullet journal was put away, only a third full.

Now I'm to the point that I'm finally craving that creative outlet again and missing the organization it brought to my life, but I'm wondering ... was it too involved? Did I actually become a slave to it? Am I able to prioritize my time well enough to put it down and ignore the imperfections?

I'll admit it; I'm scared. I don't want to revert to wasting time on organization when I need to be actually doing what I'm organizing. It's a struggle that seems to get harder to fight when I'm mentally weak. I need to be sure I'm keeping myself strong.

It could help.

Or it could hurt.

Silly, to be afraid of something so mundane as journaling. However, depression seldom makes sense. I don't want to simplify one part of my life only to complicate another, perpetuating a downward spiral I could have prevented.

I'm going to choose to believe that what helped before will probably help again, especially since I'm at a better place now spiritually than I was before I began it last time! I'm going to have faith in God's ability to renew a steadfast spirit within me.

It's time to bite the bullet and get those creative juices flowing again.

So ... How do YOU handle journaling while struggling with your inner self? I'd love to hear your thoughts!

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