In 'Other' Words--Wanting to be Wanted

“I want deliberately to encourage this mighty longing after God. The lack of it has brought us to our present low estate. The stiff and wooden quality about our religious lives is a result of our lack of holy desire. Complacency is a deadly foe of all spiritual growth. Acute desire must be present or there will be no manifestation of Christ to His people. He wants to be wanted. Too bad that with many of us He waits so long, so very long, in vain.”

~A.W. Tozer~

I have long struggled with the tendency toward complacency and a lack of desire toward the things of God. I grew up with it; it surrounded me on all sides, and unfortunately it is a part of "who I am" even though I want SO badly to have it removed permanently! It's my "thorn in the flesh", because it really does represent the will of my flesh to just sit back and "be", when I know in my heart of hearts that God wants more of me. It has taken me far too many years to understand that true Christianity is not an internal religion, lived solely within the heart--it is like an earthquake--beginning out of the view of the world, but radiating outward, affecting everything in its path. TRUE Christianity is contagious!

Over the years one of the tidbits of wisdom I've heard over and over again is that in all trials there is a lesson. God isn't the one tempting us, but He allows it because He knows we can learn valuable things from little twinges of pain and through Him, good can come of the bad. The trial brings attention to a potential weak spot in our character that God wants to see us develop, much like a physical pain can bring us to a doctor to see about an underlying condition we would not have otherwise known about.

A couple of years ago God used what could have been merely a "family problem" for His glory in my life. He taught me a lesson I would have never had the opportunity to learn firsthand had I not been exposed to the worst emotional trauma of my life. God knows me even better than I know myself, and He knew that I'd analyze every angle of my trial. Hidden in that trial was something I never expected to find--a very clear picture of what God wanted from me. I spent many sleepless nights and many more tear-filled days contemplating the horror that had befallen my marriage because of sin, and I'd heard words I never imagined hearing from someone who pledged his life to me. No matter how "reassuring" it was to him to say the words "I'm here; I didn't leave", I knew that I wanted more from him. I deserved more, I expected more, I *KNEW* our relationship was worth more than that. I didn't want him to just "be" there, I wanted him to have a burning desire to be with me. I wanted to be 'wanted', for lack of a better description. I wanted the importance of our relationship to be paramount--to be the spark within him that fueled his willingness to do anything it took to put our marriage FIRST.

Hidden in that pain was a message for me, borne of years of complacency. Of *COURSE* that's what I wanted of my marriage. Wasn't I created in the image of the Author of marriage Himself? Wasn't marriage a picture of God's love for His church? Wasn't the church the Bride of Christ?

As I contemplated the pain I lived for all those months while the sin was stripped (far too slowly for my comfort, I might add) from my husband's life, I learned something that cut me to the core. God wants from us what we want from our mates--heartfelt desire, commitment, and a love that fills every pore of our hearts. All those years, I'd sat in worship services, Bible studies, Sunday School classes, and fellowship meals...yet my life showed something devastating to God. I was doing all those things and saying to God, "I'm here. I'm not leaving, isn't that enough?"

God wanted more. He wanted me to WANT to be there. He wanted my love for Him to radiate from my heart and affect everyone around me. He wanted our relationship to be the entire focus of my life. He taught me something huge--"being there" isn't enough. It doesn't even come close.

I did not enjoy the pain of what my husband's sin did to our marriage. But I can say very honestly that I am thankful for what lesson God taught me through that pain. I know I'll struggle with the tendency toward staying in my comfort zone from time to time, but I now understand WHY it's a problem to God; and I understand just how much it hurts Him. Forgive me, Father, for the lukewarmness I've lived in for so long. It's a detestable state, and it's my prayer that I am never lost in it again.

Deborah is hosting this week's In 'Other' Words; visit her blog Chocolate & Coffee to read her comments about her chosen quote and to view other participants' blogs.

In "Other" Words--Life on the Autobahn

"One reason we are so harried and hurried is that we make yesterday and tomorrow our business, when all that legitimately concerns us is today. If we really have too much to do, there are some items on the agenda which God did not put there. Let us submit the list to Him and ask Him to indicate which items we must delete. There is always time to do the will of God. If we are too busy to do that, we are too busy."

~ Elisabeth Elliott ~

I do my best thinking in the driver's seat. Maybe that's one very big plus about living in Germany; I get plenty of opportunities for some good meditation on the Autobahn! Sure, the good, hard, intense studies can't be done going 100mph, but what better time to fill one's mind with the deep thoughts of God and His purposes than while navigating the busy highway surrounded by people who would rather leave you in their dust than be courteous? It's very calming....although I still detest rush hour traffic!

Oddly enough, I've learned some very valuable lessons from my hours of driving. One of the most important is related to this week's quote. In the US, we have an understanding that the left lane is for passing...but we don't always see people using it for that purpose. Too often, you get one yahoo who wants to get in the left hand lane and slow everyone down by doing JUST shy of the speed limit and remaining blissfully oblivious to the growing line of annoyed drivers behind him. Here in Germany, we don't see that very often. Perhaps a lot of it has to do with the fact that if you linger too long in that left lane, you are going to be blown off the road by a teeny little Audi or Porsche bent on breaking the land speed record, but it's mostly because you can actually be ticketed here for driving in the passing lane. It's the LAW, and Germans do take their driving laws to heart! At any rate, though, that passing lane is not where you want to just take up residence for any extended period of time, because it not only impedes faster drivers, but you just don't need to be going THAT fast for so long. Driving at a high rate of speed can impair your reaction time, and it surely affects your concentration.

Similarly, living life "in the fast lane" like so many Americans are doing nowadays can stretch one's concentration too thin. Life starts to get blurry when you're constantly bouncing from one activity to the next, and the purpose of life is often the first thing to fade. I have been embarrassed when driving sometimes I get so stuck on passing a slow driver that I miss my exit or a turn or even my destination. We do that with our harried schedule as well. We may fully intend for our flurry of do-goodness, of running hither and yon with school activities, youth group activities, extracurricular activities, church work, ministering to those who need help, and just day to day life that we lose sight of what we were trying to do in the first place.

It's time to slow down. Put our emphasis on the things of God, but let HIM dictate what those things should be...not what everyone else around us expects of us. It's okay to be in the fast lane for a little while so we don't run over those around us who are just a tad less active, but life shouldn't be lived in the fast lane. There's too much to miss--maybe even our destination!

This week's In "Other" Words is being hosted by Sarah. Visit her blog To Motherhood And Beyond to read her thoughts and link to other participants!

In "Other" Words--Grown-up Love

"Love is beautiful, but it is also terrible--terrible in its determination to allow nothing blemished or unworthy to remain in the beloved."

~ Hannah Hurnard ~

This quote is so incredibly timely that I almost had to laugh when I read it! My blog break (to scrapbook, honest...and believe me, I've got a LOT to show for my time "off") was much-needed, both for my house's sake (can you say DEEP clean?) and for me to finally get the chance while Pete was home for more than two hours to sit and just scrap. I've got TONS of pictures to put to paper, and of course I just *have to* include a story with each one. Funny thing is, the very thing that I've been dreading that has kept me from jumping headlong into this task was a very valuable lesson that God's been trying to teach me for a long time. And, interestingly enough, it is the main idea behind today's quote! Go figure.

My purposeful extended scrapbooking session was prompted by the realization of a rather "small" anniversary. I was sitting at Burger King the Saturday before last eating lunch with my two-year-old when a teen couple sat down next to us to share an order of fries. I had to stifle a giggle when the young girl asked her beau what he wanted to do for their anniversary, since they'd been together "so long"--surely a six-month anniversary warranted some serious celebration, right? So as the two of them discussed movies and fancy dinners and maybe even jewelry (?!?), my mind wandered back to when Pete and I were younger. All of a sudden, it occurred to me that November 4, 1988 was the day he asked me out. It seemed HUGE back then, but relatively insignificant now in the grand scheme of marriage, enlistment, babies, financial strains, deployments, and the REALLY big issues of life. Nineteen years. Our relationship is actually older than Pete was when we got married! Hitting the craft store after lunch, I realized that I'd not even completed srapbook pages for our high school years, so I determined to remedy that situation and get some scrapping done for once, even if it was painful to look at any of the pictures that brought up bad memories.

My mind has unconsciously recorded a timeline for the ugly events that went on in Pete's life that affected every facet of our married life several years ago, and like it or not, I can't help but see that timeline in the pictures we have. I know what was going on behind the scenes, and it's HARD to come to grips with the story behind the pictures. But the interesting thing is, even though my mind's eye can still see those things, when those memories play out in my mind, there really isn't any ill will left for him. When I look at that sweet face, I see the man I love--not what he's done. I never thought I'd be capable of forgiveness to the degree I have forgiven him, and I never expected to understand so fully the depth of what "true" love really means.

When you're sixteen (or even thirty?) and your view of love for a new object of affection is skewed by chemical reactions in the brain, that "crazy in love" feeling is all you see. You overlook obvious character flaws and even some pretty severe behavioral misdeeds because your beloved is just....perfect. You can overcome anything together--scale any mountain, tackle any problem, and "love" will be enough. Counselors of just about any faith will tell you that this flitty adolescent view of love is immature. Of COURSE it's immature. It's not based on a choice. So inevitably, reality sets in and the warts appear. Flaws become targets for our magnifying glasses of criticism, and every little thing our beloved does suddenly takes on a gravity that can bring 'love' crashing down like the Hindenberg. What's truly sad is that some people never make it past this. They never get to the point where the love found in 1 Corinthians 13 takes over. Their marriage never experiences that agape, unconditional love that blots out the ugliness.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 1 Corinthians 13:4-7

True, enduring marital love is a picture of the type of relationship Christ has for His church. It is not a love that dwells on problems, imperfections, flaws, or unmet expectations. It is a love that seeks to do good to the object of affection, with no expectation of having the sacrifice returned. It is the ultimate Photoshopped picture of perfection, and I am SO thankful that God taught me this lesson now while I'm still 'young' so I don't spend too many more years wasted on mourning the loss of that teenage fantasy. It's amazing to know that I have something better, and that it has nothing to do with how "perfect" my marriage is!

Bonnie is this week's In Other Words host--visit her Ink It Blog to see what she has to say about the quote she chose and to view other participants' blogs.

In "Other" Words--Whose Word is it, Anyway?

"The Word of God well understood and religiously obeyed is the shortest route to spiritual perfection. And we must not select a few favorite passages to the exclusion of others. Nothing less than a whole Bible can make a whole Christian."

~ A.W. Towzer ~

Jonathan was seven years old, and had just gotten his first "big boy" set of Legos--a detailed set of teeny little parts that were supposed to create a very intricately designed race car. He was beyond excited and was chomping at the bit to get started on his little creation. He'd been working for two or three years already with the slightly larger and less "fun" Legos meant for smaller children, and this graduation to advanced construction and assembly made him feel ten feet tall. He was, however, a little too excited to follow the instructions that came with the package; and after I offered a little encouragement to maybe pay closer attention to what the instructions said, he expressed a very disgusted disapproval of my "help". After all, Dad didn't need instructions to put together the bookshelves that we'd purchased a few weeks prior, and he'd let it slip that "real men don't need instructions". In jest, maybe, but to a seven-year-old boy, Dad's words about what made a "man" were gospel!

I went about my business and left Jon alone, figuring it was maybe time for a little object lesson. Just as I expected, half an hour later the boy was in tears, yelling across the house that his creation was "broken" and that it was "stupid" and "didn't work". I very calmly asked him if he'd read the instructions yet, and he said he didn't need to--he had a picture to work from! Of course, at that point, all he wanted to do was throw it across the room and never touch it again. He'd lost interest in trying, so I let him go play in the backyard while I dug the instruction sheet out of the box and took on the challenge of assembling a race car.Half an hour later, a very sweaty little boy came back in and stopped dead in his tracks, wondering how on earth his "broken" set of Legos somehow became a working car, right there on the kitchen table. "Simple," I told him. "I followed the instructions." He didn't believe me, so I took it all apart and sat down with him to follow the steps in order and to the letter. We re-created a perfect replica of the picture on the box, and believe it or not, it worked PERFECTLY. To this day, he still rolls his eyes a bit when I ask him if, during the assembling process, he has consulted the instruction manual. However, he knows that there are some things he can't just "wing it" with, that if he wants the final product to be perfectly assembled and in the working order that the designer intended, he has no choice but to follow the directions given by that designer. There just isn't any other acceptable way. He CAN use a little creative license, but the finished product will be different, every single time.

This is one of those 'religious' issues that has me stumped. Maybe I'm just too much of a purist, but I just can't understand sometimes why folks would think that anything less than strict adherence to God's instruction booklet would produce an acceptable result. I've talked with people who will see a particular truth in black and white on the pages of the Bible but discount it in favor of "pastor says" thus and such or "well I've always interpreted that to mean" whatever. Why would we do that and still expect God's plan to work as He designed it? Why is religion the only facet of "truth" that we believe is up for debate?

I was listening to my 'Wow! Hymns' CD this morning on my way home from taking Pete to work, and the song "Trust and Obey" was playing. How timely, no? In the quiet (haha) solitude of my empty-except-for-me minivan, I was able to really stop and meditate on the words I've sung probably two hundred times in my life:

"When we walk with the Lord, in the light of His Word, what a glory He sheds on our way. While we do His good Will, He abides with us still, never fear; only trust and obey."

Are we really so bold as to believe that we can put our faith in a God we don't fully trust to determine His own plan? Do we truly trust God enough to obey His Will in its entirety or are we only willing to accept the truths that mesh with our limited understanding or the agendas of men who have gone on before us? If God says it, are we truly willing to accept it and live it? Are we really, as we sing, willing to walk in the light of His Word and cast off fear to trust and obey Him?

I'm reminded of the Family Circus cartoons that appear in the comics every week, and the antics of the little boy (Billy, is it?) who can never seem to go from point A to point B without taking a hundred little sidetrips in between. It's funny, but not comical when you consider how many people live their spiritual lives chasing after all those little sidetracked rabbit trails in search of meaning, joy, happiness, and fulfillment. The danger lies in never actually getting to point B; sometimes in the search for human meaning, the objective (which SHOULD be living a life in line with God's Will) becomes blurred and we can lose sight of what we were actually aiming for in the first place. Satan is crafty and he's very good at what he does; he puts things in front of us that "feel" more right than doing what truly IS right.

The most frightening passage of Scripture to me is Matthew 7:21-29:

"Not everyone who says to Me, 'Lord, Lord,' shall enter the kingdom of heaven, but he who does the will of My Father in heaven. Many will say to Me in that day, 'Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in Your name, cast out deomons in Your name, and done many wonders in Your name?' And then I will declare to them, 'I never knew you, depart from Me, you who practice lawlessness!' Therefore whoever hears these sayings of Mine, and does them, I will liken him to a wise man who built his house on the rock: and the rain descended, the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on that house; and it did not fall, for it was founded on the rock. But everyone who hears these sayings of Mine, and does not do them, will be like a foolish man who built his house on the sand: and the rain descended, the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on that house; and it fell. And great was its fall. And so it was, when Jesus had ended these sayings, that the people were astonished at His teaching, for He taught them as one having authority, and not as the scribes."

I can only imagine what it must have been like to be in the crowd that day, hearing the words of the Savior who would eventually give up His life in the most perfect example of love and obedience the world has ever seen, but I know that now, thousands of years later, reading that passage fills me with a fear of God that sparks within me the desire to know everything I can about the Will of God. I want nothing more than to purge myself of my own opinions and fill my heart and mind with the perfection found in God's Word. I don't have time for interpretations. I couldn't care less about what religious "scholars" opine about the doctrine of the day. I have no patience for manmade theologies, because I don't want to be counted among the number who will stand before the Lord Jesus and be told to depart because He never knew them. I want only to have my foundation built upon the One who speaks with authority.

Speak where the Bible speaks, be silent where the Bible is silent. Do Bible things in Bible ways, call Bible things by Bible names. Nothing else but the very Word of God can produce the result He had in mind when He designed it. Sure, we can practice creative license, but we can't expect the same end product. The end product of creative religious license is to be numbered with those whom the Lord will not "know".

In "Other" Words is hosted by Debbie at Chocolate and Coffee this week; why not take some time to blog about this week's quote, leave a link, and see what others had to say about it?

In Other Words--Emotional Purity

"We women must realize how visual men are, and because of that we should wear modest clothes. Not because we don't have the right to wear what we want, but for the benefit of the spiritual life of our brothers in Christ."~ Heather Arnel Paulsen ~ Emotional Purity: An Affair of the Heart

I've been meaning to participate in the last few In "other" Words Tuesdays, but something ALWAYS comes up. Go figure, today I have nothing but time. And every time I look at the quote that Loni chose, my mind drifts far from the intended focus. Odd how that works. I've tried probably ten times to find something new and thought-provoking about the idea of modest dress and the intent of the heart vs. the misdirection of the eyes, but you know, there are so many more eloquent writers out there who have written volumes both in blogdom and in print about the issue of modesty. My eye, however was drawn straight to the title of the book the quote was taken from. Emotional purity is something we don't hear much about, and while I'm not able to browse the shelves of a Christian bookstore over here to see what is on the shelves currently, I'm intrigued to find a copy of this book to see what Ms. Paulsen has to say on the subject. Having come straight out of the fire quite recently, though, I do have some thoughts on what it means to me and why I believe it's so vitally important to today's Christian.

In all honesty, I believe with all of my heart that the modesty issue wouldn't be an issue at all if our minds were truly emotionally pure. Why? Well, look at what the word "pure" means--free from contamination; without any additives or revisions. Spiritually, a pure mind would be free from anything other than the motives of God. No "opinions" that justify ignoring scriptural truth, no denominational or societal biases. Just the mind of God. What place is there for arguing the gray areas or "how far" is "too far" when it comes to dress, behavior, or thought.

The world sees the mind of Christ as a chain, binding God's people to a set of rules that restrain. But the truth is that when one has been washed clean of sin by the blood of Christ and left behind worldly concerns to adopt the mind of Christ, it is a freedom that the world can't imagine. The "rules" don't matter anymore, because someone who has denied self in favor of the Will of God will not have their own motives overriding God's.

Back on topic a bit, I tell my teens while discussing modesty both in dress and in behavior that we can't ultimately be responsible for what people *SEE* in us, but we are most definitely 100% responsible for what we *SHOW* them. Does the mind of God dictate our dress, our speech, our attitudes, our reactions and our actions? Are our emotions pure, unspotted by the lust of the eyes, the lust of the flesh, and the pride of life? If not, can we call ourselves true ambassadors of Christ?