You got a WHAT?

So...my life wasn't crazy enough.  The six kids at home don't make enough of a mess.  I needed more chaos, more mess.

Here she is!  Miss Messy Chaos!  We call her Sasha, and she's a we-have-no-idea-what-is-in-her-mix mutt.  Maybe black lab, maybe staffordshire bull terrier, maybe chihuahua, maybe even potbellied pig mixed with piranha!?!

Pete has wanted a smallish dog for a while, but he didn't want to burden me with the added hassle of another dog.  IF we were going to get another dog, I did not want to get one that had pre-existing issues.  It had to be a puppy, one that we could mold into our family and not have to mold our family to the dog.

I have no idea what overcame me.  I'm not normally one to fall for puppy lust.  Sigh...

Complicated Woman's Daybook

It's not Monday and there is NOTHING simple about my life right now. 

Not.  A.  Thing.

I have felt for the last few days as if my brain is playing a solo game of Rock, Paper, Scissors just to figure out what to do next.  Yes, having a set of grand plans does help time pass faster--especially when you have a deadline set for yourself to get all of it done in.  There is no way on this earth that I am going to be able to accomplish everything I have set before myself.  In fact, I don't think I could even do it with God's help.  Well, okay, maybe if the Lord Himself came down and moved a few boxes, sure.  But ME?  There just isn't enough of me.

That's a lesson I've not learned adequately, I fear.  Perhaps that is why I find myself gasping for breath under the weight of a to-do list that I've burdened my own self with?  I can't even organize a blog post, for crying out loud!  How about if I borrow the format from one of my standard Simple Woman's Daybooks?

What have I been wearing?  Anything that I can dig out of the pile that is clean.
What's it like outside?  The grass is taking over; it's beginning to resemble the African savannahs out there; in fact, I think I heard Simba roar at sunset!
From the kitchen?  Oh my...do NOT go in there.  You may fall into the dishes that don't fit into the dishwasher.
From the learning rooms?  Well, they're learning.  Working daily on math, working daily on reading; Morgan can even sound out a few street signs and Jamie was sorting 87 silly bands that she picked up from the schoolroom floor into groups of ten.  We're reading (thank you, Sonlight, for your "here, read THIS" schedule), but the structured, "this looks like school" lessons just aren't happening.  Thankfully, my kids thrive in the midst of chaos and I think they're learning *more*.  How is that possible?
On my mind?  Way too much.  My hubby's on my mind; my son in Afghanistan is on my mind (did I mention that he told me in a chat the other day that he wasn't sure he wanted to come home on R&R????); my oldest daughter's future is on my mind; STRESS is on my mind.
What am I reading?  I don't even remember.  That's probably not a good thing.

Life has gotten far too complicated lately.  Funny how getting TO the simple requires going through some seriously complex purging processes.  They are not particularly enjoyable processes, I'll say that.  And they are not processes that one should undertake lightly.  These purging processes require ALL of you.

All of me is very tired.  And lonely.  And mentally beaten-down.
I know where I need to go.

"Safe in the arms of Jesus, safe on His gentle breast; there by His love o'ertaken, sweetly my soul shall rest."

Picture thought?  How about this one?  No explanation neccessary--it is what it is.



Yikes.

I'm doing!

"So, how are you doing?"
"I'm doing!"

The fact of the matter is that I'm too busy to have a "good day, bad day" mentality!  I'm just "doing", not doing well or doing badly.  Isn't that where life is lived?  In the middle of the good and the bad?

If I chose to focus on the negative in my life, I could easily find plenty that would make me feel horrible about even the good things.  Conversely, if I chose to reside in the cloud-9 philosophy of life where everything is hunky-dory and nobody has any cares or worries, I'd be kidding myself.  I've got plenty! 

HOWEVER....I don't want to overlook the good OR the bad.  It's in the trials that we grow; it's in the warmth of the sun (or should that be the Son?) that we find rest and refreshment.  We really do need both!

Three days down, 32 to go.

I'm officially pathetic--in my mind, at least.  I have made it through five deployments, an 11-month separation, numerous field exercises, and several month-to-two-month-long schools.  I sailed through all of those with flying colors.  My sanity remained intact; I did not turn into one of those mushy wives who gush over every little thing they miss about their hubby.  Basically, I kept my dignity! 

This time, not so much.  I'm finding myself in a strange situation--I'm lonely.  I don't quite know what to do with that, to tell you the truth.  Believe it or not, it's new.

I'm certainly not lacking in the stuff-to-keep-me-busy department by any stretch of the imagination.  Between the girls' schooling, household tasks, church activities, and now bouncing back and forth between the real and the virtual in my communication both to my husband and my son...I'm definitely not bored. 

In case that wasn't enough, I've added two more projects to my plate--while Pete is gone, I'm going to get the office/guest room/playroom DONE.  Yes, DONE.  I am bound and determined to rid us of the cardboard boxes that have followed us around for, uh...way too long, and they're going to be out of here when he gets back.  Pete has a bit of a pet peeve about organization and everything being "in its place", but it's a love-hate relationship.  He loves to be organized, but hates to be the one to DO the organizing.  So...in the last eight months, as a direct result of his rather haphazard "filing" system, we've had to have not one but TWO copies of his birth certificate made and sent to us from Florida.  That expense has made me all too aware that the poor man really needs a secretary.  I guess that's me, huh? 

Thanks to a clearance sale at Wal-Mart (I have no idea why this stuff is going on clearance, other than maybe it's not selling?), I now have a bunch of nice matching boxes, magazine holders, and filing trays to put in the new metal shelf that I got for his office stuff.  I've got a LOOOOOONG way to go, and a huge part of getting this office space done is getting the 37-gallon fish tank moved from what is now Kelsey's room (where the office used to be) into the bonus room where the office is now.  That is no small task.  I don't look forward to it.  But alas, it still needs to be done.  The fish will be happier, the tank needs a little TLC and some fresh filters, and I might even pick up a few new fish once the job's done!

Ah yes, the *other* task.  The girls' room.  Right now, Morgan and Jamie's bunk beds are separated because I don't have the foggiest idea where the hardware is to stack them (thanks again to Pete's "filing" system), so even though she's sleeping through the night and on the same bedtime schedule as the rest of the girls, Kasey is still sleeping in our bedroom.  She will be evicted as soon as I can find that hardware!  The girls all have Tinkerbell bedding now--even the crib and the two toddler beds (it is SOOO cute, but I'm going to make you wait for pictures!), but they want to paint!  Guess what--we're going to PAINT before that crib goes in there.  Since they all wanted "their" color (Morgan--pink, Jamie--purple, Dani--blue, Shelby--green), I told them that I've decided that the walls need to be a soothing shade of aquamarine that is one of the pretty accent colors in all of their bedding.  They seem to think that's a pretty good idea now!  Yay for Mom and diplomacy!

At any rate, my clock (and the calendar too!) is ticking.  I'm going to do my level best to focus on the positive and remember that while yes, I am lonely and I do miss my hubby, life is just way too short to brood and wallow.  I've got teenagers all around me who are doing far too much of that already!

Oh yes, I just thought I'd include a couple of pictures I snapped (with my new camera) at the airport on Friday.  The one of Kelsey with Dad's carry-on has got to be one of my favorite pictures--I'm not even sure why, but the story it tells, the detail...it's just a great picture!

It's September, really?

It can't be.  Sure doesn't FEEL like September!  Still feels positively sauna-ish here in Northern Alabama. 

However, the calendar doesn't lie.  We are officially on the year's downward slope, and all will pick up speed from here, racing toward the holidays and year's end.  We shouldn't be but a couple of weeks away from hearing Christmas music playing in the stores!

I need to put my calendar and planbook away.  It's scaring me.  I think the stress is really starting to creep up on me; between having a son in Afghanistan, having a daughter plan (and reschedule, and reschedule again) a wedding, a husband going to Europe for five weeks....my plate overfloweth.

I'd planned on taking an internet (and blog) hiatus this week to refocus, but refocusing proved detrimental at this present juncture.  Reality is overwhelming!