Country Porch Friends Blog Party

I love getting to "know" other bloggers. The internet is a really interesting community and it's so much fun to just browse and read about others' lives! I was out of the blogosphere for a little while at the beginning of the year, and lost some of my bloggy buddies as a result. I was really excited to hear that there was a blog party going on so I could "meet" some new friends! So ... here we go!!

For those of you who already know me, most of this is probably going to be boring. Sorry. This isn't really for my tried-and-true buds, but more for my newish friends. I still love you, I'm just gonna bore you for a few minutes ... that is, unless I share something about myself you don't already know. :)

The short story--I'm Kris, married to a retired soldier-turned-world-traveler. We have seven children--our oldest two are married--one IS a soldier, one is married TO a soldier. Yep, big-time Army family. Four generations of soldiers have worn the name tag my son's uniform bears. And I am unabashedly proud of every minute of their service. We have homeschooled for the last fourteen years and will continue to educate our younger five girls at home as long as the Lord allows!

There isn't really a short story when it comes to me and who *I* am. My brain, although it only might have 6 cylinders, runs on about 8-10 on any given day. I'm not sure how that works. I have more ideas than hands, more responsibilities than hours in the day, more projects than half an army could keep track of. I'm a chronic planner but only an acute getter-done-er. My inability to focus in ONE direction at a time is my kryptonite. I am incessantly hard on myself, I fight depression and self-loathing every minute of every day (but most of the time, with God, I stay on the winning side of the battles), and most of the time I feel like a complete failure in every aspect of my life.

There's the 'tragedy' portion of my story. I bet you repeat readers didn't expect to read THAT, now didja? The other side of it is that God has blessed me immensely to be able to deal with everything that my "demons" can throw at me. I've been confronted with things that I never would have dreamed of dealing with, and God's grace and strength have pulled me through (sometimes kicking and screaming) every time!

The other little details about me are kind of what I've been blogging about these last .... uh ... four years? Yeah. Four. I started blogging to give my brain an outlet when I didn't normally have much of anyone to talk to. It morphed over the years as I started realizing that people were actually somewhat interested in reading some of what I had to say! (That still shocks me, I'd like to add.) I blog about some of my spiritual epiphanies, I blog about my kiddos, I blog about my struggles with life, I blog about practicalities. I blog about silly stuff, I blog about serious stuff. Kind of like my real life, actually. On any given day, I'll have a mountain of laundry, a major catastrophe brought about by a dangerously smart 2-year-old, an adorable moment worth sharing with the entire world and that I have caught on camera to scrapbook (later), and a dinner plan to share with people begging me for a recipe. Nothing really special. I'm a wanna-be Laura Ingalls living in a Stephen King world. One of these days, I'll have a beautiful garden, chickens, and a sustainable, self-sufficient lifestyle. Right now, I have a half-deconstructed bathroom, windows that are falling apart, and a garden completely engulfed by weeds.

Yep, I'm normal! :) HI! Nice to have met you! :)

A twist on an annoying "tag"!

You know those horrid games that once a year some random person will play on you either via your email or Facebook, where you are "tagged" along with 25-or-so other people to list 25ish random things about yourself or answer a bunch of off-the-wall questions, then (of course) pass it on so you can torture tag 25 MORE people with the same "game"?

Yeah, well apparently it's that time of year again.  Normally if I'm tagged by someone who knows me pretty well, I'll either totally ignore the request or I'll (in a feeble attempt at consideration for THEIR time spent on such a monumental time-waster) list things that I know will make the other person laugh.  This time, though, well, the person who tagged me really doesn't know me all *that* well, and shoot ... I'm bored.  But this time, I'm switching things up a bit!  I'm taking the random out of it, and in a real, true effort to make the "real" me a little bit more obvious, I'm gonna do this MY way.  Hmm ... I guess that's Fact #1--I'm apparently a bit of a control freak?

Here's my take on it--I'm going to list not 25, not 30, but 37 things that make me happy.  Why 37?  Because that's how old I am this year.  Why things that make me happy?  Because THAT is how you understand what makes someone tick.  I'm not going to "tag" anyone else; I'm going to leave any participation in this little game completely voluntary--but you know what?  I'm actually, really, and truly interested in how people would answer this very same question!  If you want to, I'd love to have you play too!  So, if you make it through my list, feel free to comment with a link to your OWN list!  Okay?  Alrighty then--now here goes.

37 Things That Make Kris Happy ...
1. Devil's food cookies.  They're those little chocolate-covered circles of devil's food cake that have a thin layer of marshmallow under the chocolate coating.  I inherited my love for these little yummies from my Papaw (who I don't think ever told another soul that he had such an affinity for them) and I'm just so sad that I can't seem to find them anywhere anymore except in the low fat version (which we all know is NOT the real thing).
2. Big, fat, red roses.  Those big, deep-crimson blooms that fill up your entire hand.  Awesome.
3. Gardenia bushes.  My nose is tuned in to that scent every time I'm anywhere near them, and my memory immediately goes straight back to my Mamaw.
4. Waking up late on a Saturday morning with two or three little ones asleep between me and hubby--instant silent smiles shared across little blonde heads ... ahhh.
5. Having a cat curl up on my lap.
6. Freshly finished scrapbook pages.
7. Thin crust NY-style cheese pizza.  I have still yet to have a slice as yummy as the one we last had the night before our wedding, at New York Style Pizza in the shopping center at the corner of Jog and Lake Worth Roads.  One day ...
8. My hubby's homemade buttered popcorn.  He makes the BEST buttered popcorn.  Better than any movie theater!  I've watched him; I've done exactly the same things he does when I attempt to make it, but I can't recreate it.  I guess the secret ingredient really is love--and he's never hesitant or even huffy when I ask him to make up a batch.  Seriously--it can even make an Adam Sandler movie worth watching!
9. The beach.  Not sunbathing; not the skin-fest, but the actual sand-meets-ocean *beach*.  The sounds of the surf, the smells, the beauty in the horizon, the solitude even among the crowd, the sheer magnificence of God's creation.  Wow.
10. Snow-capped mountains.  More specifically, the Bavarian Alps.  I am so grateful to have had the opportunity to camp at their feet three times in my life.  Yet another grandiose display of the power found in the Master Artist's brush.
11. A baby's laughter.  Communication that needs no translation!
12. The smell of fresh-cut-grass.
13. Hershey's Special Dark chocolate bars dipped in Jif creamy peanut butter.
14. Seeing my grandmother's, my great-grandmother's, and my great-grandfather's Bibles on my shelf.  It is a heritage of faith that I hope and pray continues through my children.
15. Cinnamon Spice tea from Barnes & Noble's Starbucks.
16. The sight and sounds of my children playing together peacefully.
17. Philly cheesesteaks.
18. A phone call from an old friend that lasts altogether too long but is altogether too short.
19. Newly-opened Crayola crayons.
20. Being at home with my children--few sacrifices in this life are as rewarding!
21. Mamaw's carrot cake.
22. Freshly washed cloth diapers drying on the clothesline. 
23. York Peppermint Patties!!!
24. Seeing soldiers in formation. 
25. The scent of Jergen's lotion--the "original" sweet cherry almond fragrance.
26. Carvel ice cream cake. Maybe one of these years, my family will take the hints I've been dropping?
27. Homeschooling.  Everything about it makes me happy.  This could be a list completely by itself--the box of books arriving at the door, the stacks of papers, supplies, and folders........the whole experience of being the one teaching my children how to learn and love learning; it's such an amazing blessing that I thank God for every day!
28. Having a crying toddler bring me a boo-boo to kiss.
29. Five-year-old enthusiasm because she's just figured out how to curl her tongue!
30. Bubble baths in those long, deep German bathtubs!  OH how I miss those tubs!!!
31. Seeing God "show off" by providing for our needs--usually with a major flourish!
32. Gibson's BBQ
33. Time spent in fellowship with other Christians.  There truly is no finer company!
34. Comfy jeans.
35. Clean, crisp sheets.
36. Homecomings.
37. This--having our whole family, including its new "extension", all together.  We're not a perfect family, we can't get everyone smiling at the camera at the same time, the camera makes at least one (in this case, two) of us look thirty pounds heavier, and one of us is inevitably wearing something as offbeat as Shelby's Elmo slippers, but I wouldn't trade this family for anything this side of heaven!

Answering "THE" question

I've actually been asked about this topic (in person) several times in the last few months, so I decided I'd go ahead and blog about it. I'm not doing this to step on any toes, really. Just to get the 'splanation out there so the folks asking about it can read my "put together" thoughts. As I've stated before, I think much better when I'm writing than when I'm speaking.

Not too long ago, while perusing one of the discussion boards I piddle around at now and then, I came across a mom who was wondering how to explain to her children just why people were SO cruel with their comments about the size of their family. Her story wasn't the typical "Are they all yours?", no....this one took the cake. She'd gone to run errands with her five children, who were being well-behaved (not the standard post-office brats who can't seem to understand that public offices aren't playgrounds), and just the mere size of her brood aroused the ire of a man in the office. He resorted to shouting insults and suggesting very loudly that she should just "slit her throat and get it over with", that she must be psychotic and needed to be on medication. She calmly assured him that she did indeed LOVE the wonderful children that God had blessed their family with, but his tirade continued, to the amusement of several others in the office. Her children were terrified, but that didn't seem to deter the nastiness, and when she got home, she had to attempt to alleviate her 9-year-old's fears that their mother was one step away from insanity.

I've had some off-the-wall comments since our family size expanded past the 2.1-child "average", but that one...I'm not sure I'd have handled it as calmly as she did. What is WRONG with people? Nevermind that mothers don't seem to be enforcing the "If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all" rule anymore, this type of attitude goes straight to the core. Has our society truly rejected what God calls a blessing, and decided across-the-board that children are burdens to be avoided, insulted, and considered a "curse" when their arrival is unplanned by the parents?

By society's standards, what is the criteria for determining how many children each family should have? National averages? Seating arrangements in a vehicle (don't laugh, I've actually heard that one--"Don't have more children than your sportscar can hold")? How many bedrooms a house has and whether or not you'll still have space for that media room and an office? Social status? Are only the Brangelinas of the world allowed to have large families (nevermind they're not even MARRIED--he says they'll marry when "everyone" can)? Maybe it's your tax bracket or the size of your bank account. Is it the number of designer wardrobes you can afford and how many college degrees you are willing to finance?

It was actually that question that prompted us to reverse what we now consider to be a horrible mistake, although it took almost eight years of mental agony to get to that point. We'd not really even considered the attitude we'd taken toward children until the vasectomy had already been done. But almost immediately, a comment I'd only half paid attention to started echoing in my mind. A year before the vasectomy, when we announced our third despite-birth-control pregnancy, the only thing we could say was "Obviously God meant for us to have three children." The reply was "Well, I certainly hope He doesn't intend for you to have FOUR!" We lost that baby, and very quickly made the decision to end the possibility of having more "accidents". We weren't even really thinking about what we'd said regarding that third pregnancy being "obvious". It didn't really hit home until we realized we were feeling a twinge of heartache every time one of our friends announced a pregnancy by using the words "blessing from God". With each birth around us, the fact that maybe God had something in mind that we'd not even considered for our family smacked us firmly across both cheeks. Did we even believe they were a blessing? Or was the 'blessing' thing just a fluffy little euphemism that we attached to baby shower cards just as flippantly as people say "bundle of joy"? Is it true that they really are a BLESSING? A gift? Something that God WANTS us to have?

What if?

We have both known for a long time that we are the type of couple who does things differently. Neither of us has ever been "mainstream" people, but yet there we were, letting mainstream ideas form us and plan our life so we looked like, talked like, and lived like everyone else in the world. What if God wanted something different? Looking to God's Word, neither one of us could find anything in Scripture that spoke favorably of man (or woman, for that matter) plotting his own path--there is plenty speaking negatively of man's "plans", though. We also couldn't find anything that agreed with the world's anti-child view of family planning. It perplexed us to learn that until right around the beginning of the 20th century, the vast majority of the world's Bible-preaching churches (of just about all 'flavors') condemned the use of birth control, and people truly believed that God was the Author of ALL life--that each and every child born into every family was a blessing to be treasured. More horrifying was the knowledge that Planned Parenthood's founder is one of the most outspoken humanists of our time, and that "modern" birth control was used by feminists to promote the idea that a woman should have "more" than the life of a wife and mom. As if all of that wasn't enough, we then found out that the now widely-accepted birth control pill and IUD (as well as several other forms of hormonal contraception) use aborifacient--abortion-inducing--methods of "avoiding" pregnancy (that is, unless you believe that life begins at conception and not only when implantation occurs).

All of these things really began to eat at our hearts, and we were convicted to hand that portion of our lives back over to God. In November of 2001, we did just that--Pete's vasectomy was reversed. We didn't have the reversal in an effort to have as many babies as we could possibly fill our home with. We're not competing with the Duggars, I assure you--although Morgan and Jamie are fascinated by such a large, loving family when we watch them on TV. We had the reversal to surrender to the Lord a portion of our lives that we'd kept Him out of and told Him that we "knew better". It has meant adding four new faces to our family portrait, and in all honesty, we'd welcome ten more if that's what the Lord has in mind for our family before my body loses the ability to bear children safely. Why? Because we believe God when He says He opens and closes the womb. We don't have children because they're just some natural function of a biological event, we have children because God chooses to place each and every one of them in our family.

Do we judge people who don't do things the way we do? Heavens, no. Quite frankly, I'm a little too busy with my own bunch to worry about somebody else's convictions! Am I overwhelmed? Sometimes, but you know....I find myself far less overwhelmed than I was with just the first two, because my heart and my mind are in a different place now. I don't see my kids as burdens. I don't see them as financial liabilities or injustices against my own personal dreams. I see them as individual souls, to be raised up for God's service and aimed into the world to bring glory to Him.

Am I psychotic? Maybe...I'm sure I have my moments! I'm human, I'm not perfect, and I struggle with my own issues just like every one else in this world. Am I on medication? Well, that depends--does chocolate count?

Am I neurotic, or what?

Okay, I've got my holiday rant out of my system (hey, Jill, don't take it personally, ok, you know I love your family dearly...if it was my own cousin, I'd have still blogged about it, I was just that bebuggered!) so I'll move on.

Teri started it...and then posed a challenge for others to blog about their own neuroses (I still can't use the spelling 'neurosis' for the plural, Teri, I just *can't*, it's frying my brain! LOL), so since I'm having another one of those brain-dead days...sure, why not?

One of my biggest "issues" as my family likes to say is that I'm a grammar/spelling fanatic. A word nerd. Jon actually threatened to buy me a tee shirt once that said "Grammar Police". Well yeah, ok, sure...make fun of the one who wants people to speak and write properly. I've told my kids that if there's one surefire way to get me weilding a red pen, it's to get their/they're/there mixed up or to misuse your/you're. It's something they've pretty much known from birth that I'm completely obsessive about, and now I'm avoiding Kelsey's blog because she TOTALLY BUTCHERED all the grammar and spelling rules I've enforced in her writing over the last however many years that she's been writing. I've been known to edit my own blog post up to ten times AFTER I published it. Webster's dictionary-people offended me personally when they started to include such atrocities as "ain't" in newer dictionaries, and sometimes I just have to shut my ears and run away in agony when I'm around a group of people who don't seem to know how to use proper verbage.

It's a personal belief of mine that using profanity is a symptom of a poor vocabulary. Why else would you need to rely on "eff-n" this-or-that unless you just didn't have any adequate adverbs or adjectives in your memory banks?

Oh, and people, for the love of all that is proper English, PLEASE learn how to use your apostrophes! Those little punctuation marks are not supposed to show plurality except in very specific cases, such as abbreviations like cd's, ABC's, 123's, and tv's. NOT the Jones's, the Smith's, or the Campbell's, unless you're talking about something that belongs TO the Joneses, the Smiths, or the Campbells. "Happy Holiday's" is NOT correct, sorry! (Just say "Merry Christmas, even if it's not PC...less possibility for grammatical error!)

Is grammar not taught in school anymore? It just amazed me to learn that people whose native language is NOT English can somehow have better grammar than we Americans do. Are we forever stuck in grammar pre-k as a nation? Yes, I know I still leave my participles dangling now and then. I know I goof up, and I do still use sentence fragments in my writing for effect. I'm still a stickler for correct usage and spelling. I'll not apologize for that, either! I'll also continue to insist on proper grammar and spelling from my own children, I'm not bending!

For the record, the worst example of the lack of good education was a sign on a vending machine, penned by a Wal-Mart employee, that read "Borken, Do Nut Used."

I can still feel the thud of my neurotic, grammar-fanatic's head hitting the floor that day.

So what's your neurosis?

Randomness is out of control!

I never feel more out-of-touch with reality and out-of-control of my life than when I'm sick. I can't gather my thoughts, I can't stay on top of anything to keep the house in order, and I seem to spend the whole day flitting from one thing to another with no apparent purpose for life. It's not pleasant.

I may not be one who's incredibly great at *keeping* order, but I do crave it. I don't like living randomly. I'm not fond of just going about my days waiting to see what is going to happen next. Kind of like Morgan, who goes to bed every night asking "What are we going to do tomorrow?," and who awakes asking "What are we going to do today?," I need to know.

That little part of my personality may be what gives me the biggest challenge when it comes to trusting God for the 'details'. I'm a control freak when it comes to my life. I may not necessarily have to be in charge, per se, but I do at least need to know what's going on, who's in control, what their plan is, how I'm to go about executing my purpose......hmm......I'd have been a great noncommissioned officer if my life had followed a different path!

The only time I'm bad at relenquishing control is when the road ahead doesn't seem clear. What does God want from me? What are His plans for my life? What does He want to accomplish through me? What if I really did just let go of all the worry, the fear, the need to plan....what would my life look like?

It's an ongoing process. Maybe these sick days are a practice test...now if I could quell the randomness long enough to complete a scrapbook page without disgusting myself I might be in good shape.

Yes, as a matter of fact, we ARE crazy!

It actually took seven weeks this time, but I finally got cornered and asked "the question" by someone I'd met only minutes before. It's one of those questions I've come to expect: "You're done now, right?" Is it obvious that I'm annoyed by that question when my eyes roll out of my head and onto the floor? It rates right up there with "Don't you know by now what causes that?" and "Are you trying for a boy?", and even "How does someone with that many kids have time to make another one??" Hmm, no, we sure don't know what 'causes that', why don't you explain it to us? And the short answer is no, we aren't "trying for a boy". Last time I heard, it's pretty much up to GOD whether a baby wears his/her plumbing on the outside or not. Besides, Pete's hopelessly broken. The Army and all that radiation from the PATRIOT system, plus the anthrax and smallpox vaccines...they broke him and now we can only have girls. OKAY?? Yes, I know that most of these ridiculous questions are just small-talk and people generally don't know what to say when they come in contact with someone who does things differently than they do, but what confuses me (and raises my hackles...even though it's on the inside) is how having a larger-than-average brood opens us up to have complete strangers questioning not only our sex life, but also our general sanity and even whether or not we're responsible parents!

I dread dealing with the comments about our family size and our choices and convictions FAR more than I worry about how we'll afford another child, how I'm going to handle dealing with the added work, the sleepless nights, and the health stresses. I'm intensely private about a lot of things, and I'm not a confrontationalist. I don't relish getting into debates, I detest going on the defensive during a conversation, and I don't judge someone just because they live differently than we do; I just want to live my life, that's all.

MINE!

There are very few things that I truly refuse to share in this life. Well, okay, one I won't bend on--my hubby. However, when it comes to the York Peppermint Patties, my socks, hair spray, even the Mint Milano cookies and a Pepsi...I'll gladly offer a bit to someone else. I'm not even really selfish with my time, either, except when it comes to the precious few minutes I'll steal every day (or two, or even three....depending on how much really needs to get done around the house) to get online and blog.

It's MY time. I don't blog to benefit anybody but me. I could, but I don't make money with this little hobby. I just write, tweak, add pictures, and visit a few other blogs. And I am not willing to give it up. It may not make much sense to my family, but I really do need this outlet, even if no one were to ever read anything I write.

My blogging adventure started out as a way to network with other people. I was lonely over there in Germany, and I just needed "something" to connect to others. I found it...and then some. After a month or two, I wasn't doing it just to share pictures anymore. It was truly a means of clearing my mind, getting my thoughts out of my head, and even categorizing daily life for myself so when I went back to scrapbook those events, I had a written recollection instead of just vague memories.

I saw a t-shirt the other day that I told Pete I simply "must have". It said, simply, "I blog, therefore I am." How true, how true. He didn't get it. He said it was silly. But yet I can understand so well why that sentiment makes perfect sense. Blogging, at least for me, is a way to keep in touch with what makes me "me". And it's all mine. I scrapbook for more than just selfish reasons. Sure, it's a great hobby, and I truly enjoy my time at my scrap table surrounded by glue, pictures, papers, and embellishments. However, I'm not the only one to benefit from that hobby. I use my time scrapping to catalogue family history, to preserve moments in time for future generations; and already, at least one future generation is benefitting from my efforts. My girls love to sit with a scrapbook and talk about the stories behind the pictures.

Not so with my blogging. There are things I blog about that most people (yes, MOST) would not even know about me. But I'm not writing really for "their" benefit. It's for me that I write. I'm thrilled that anything I write can encourage or entertain anyone else, and I'm just tickled pink to have so many visitors to my blog, but I'm mostly thankful that I have this means of self-expression that I normally would not have. I feel freer to open up my mind and just...oh, I don't know, let all the fodder flow from brain to keyboard. Some days what's in my mind is ridiculously silly, other days I am pondering some great quandry of life, and on yet other days my heart is hurting and I just need to "get it out". I love my blog time. It's therapy for me, and it only takes a precious few minutes a day!

I'll continue to be selfish with my blog time; it's good for me, and it's one of the very few things I can claim as "mine".

Obsess much?

I know I don't have full-blown OCD....at least not that's officially diagnosed, anyway, LOL. However, moving (especially the moving IN part) really does bring out my obsessive tendencies, and while I'm trying hard not to drive my family nuts, this is one week when I'm not going to apologize for wanting things "just so" and not settling for half-done. Normally, (even my mom would attest to this, much to her horror) I will bend to lesser standards with my housekeeping and organizing to placate the rest of the family and keep things sane, but this week (as with last week and the week before that), I'm going to insist that things be done RIGHT--and by right, I mean, of course, MY WAY!

You know how the saying goes that a man's home is his castle? I personally think that's a bit off. There's another lesser-known saying among military families that even though the hubby may be the commander, it's his wife who's the first sergeant, and it's the mom who hands out the orders! Pete's name may be first on the change of address card, the "head of household" for tax purposes, and even spiritually...but he doesn't have a CLUE how to organize (or clean) a house. Just yesterday, we spent several hours doing something Pete didn't even think needed to be done. We cleaned a perfectly "clean" house. WHY?? Well, the wax buildup on the linoleum was about to drive me batty, and the last thing I could imagine doing was putting all my "stuff" in a house that wasn't clean when we started. So out came the ammonia and up came probably five years of wax and cigarette smoke from the prior occupants. YUCK! Kelsey and Pete just shook their heads at me, but you know what? That kitchen floor sparkles now, and there is not a spot on it that grabs my attention--a very good thing, in my book!

We were sitting at lunch today with three couples from church talking about moving around, having unpacked boxes (HORRORS!!!) living in the house for years, and the whole moving-in hassle. It appears I have become a bit of a joke to Pete--at least, my unpacking/obsessing over the moving-in aspect of our military transfers have. I'll admit it, I HAVE TO get things unpacked as soon as the moving truck has pulled away from the house. It's not in me to let boxes sit all over the house unpacked for weeks on end. Pete doesn't see them after a while. He forgets they're there, even if he's got to climb over them to get to something. Me? NO WAY. Cardboard boxes offend my sensibilities, quite frankly. They are ugly and they represent something that is not yet finished. We have so little time at the places we're normally stationed, if I let things sit in the house, we'd barely get moved in before we had to get things packed up again! So step aside and just stay out of the way, there's WORK to do!

I'm 32 weeks pregnant today. I'll probably get a LOT less done this time around than I usually do the day our household goods are delivered. But at the end of the day, I know I will be able to sleep on my OWN bed, on my own clean sheets, in my own bedroom, with all the children sleeping in their own beds on their own clean sheets surrounded by put-away clothing and toys that are put away, and I can plop my fatigued fanny down on my own couches to rest in between boxes! It's my "thing". I'll gladly own it!

Which Sesame Street character are you?

I saw this over at Learning2Love and thought it was a hoot. After last night's Elmo incident, I thought it was a fun, easy thing for my frazzled mind today. It's pretty accurate, with the exception of the neat freak thing. I'm a neat freak wannabe, but terrible in execution! Hmm, I wonder if this means I need to pluck my eyebrows?

You Are Bert

Extremely serious and a little eccentric, people find you loveable - even if you don't love them! You are usually feeling: Logical - you rarely let your emotions rule you You are famous for: Being smart, a total neat freak, and maybe just a little evil How you life your life: With passion, even if your odd passions (like bottle caps and pigeons) are baffling to others

The Sesame Street Personality Quiz

Fun Monday--Why do I blog?

Lisa's Chaos is hosting a Fun Monday that looks like fun (hence the title, maybe? DUH), so I'll give it a shot since I have a few extra minutes! It's my first Fun Monday, but I may have to go back for more! Here's this week's assignment:

I’d like to know more about you, what makes you tick. I’d like to know how you started blogging. Did you keep a diary under lock and key safely hidden as a child? Do you still? Do you share the same things on your blog that you would have, or do, in your diary? Why did you start blogging and why do you continue? May as well throw in any roadblocks you have run into while blogging. If you still have your old diaries we’d love to see them.

What makes me tick, eh? Well if you go by yesterday's personality profile results, it's obviously introspection that makes me tick, so blogging suits me VERY well, it would seem!

How did I start blogging? Honestly, I've had a couple of false starts. I have a problem following through on my grand plans (dagnabbit, that silly profile has me pegged perfectly!), so I actually have two blogs that never even got off the ground. Same for the journals and diaries of my youth (and recent years as well); I get them started, then get distracted and forget, so I've probably had fifty or sixty journals/diaries with three or four entries. I never bothered with the lock and key, as nobody around me was all that interested in hearing my innermost thoughts--seems I was a bit too free with those thoughts anyway, so there apparently wasn't much they thought was "secret" about me. I have only kept one journal, from probably the worst period of my life, and I am really wanting to get rid of it because I'm not sure I want to remember everything I was struggling with back then. I'd rather focus on the good that came of it than the awful internal battle that weighed me down.

This blog has managed to survive that "start it and forget it" phase, but I'm not really sure why! I think the first blog I actually sat down and read was this one, and what intrigued me was the outlet for all the mental ramblings. I needed that, and it actually surprised me when I was able to turn this into not just a journal-type outlet but also a creative outlet as well. It's been FUN! Besides, I type MUCH faster than I write, so I am able to get so much more done on a blog than on paper!

My purpose in blogging now is entirely selfish. I really have no other activity to fill my day with that is JUST for me, with no other motive. Scrapbooking comes close, but a lot of that is for my family as well. Crafting, sewing, almost all of that is for others, but my blog? It's for ME. And I've used it to reign in my thoughts pretty well, I think. I'm very easily discouraged, but blogging has almost forced me to focus on the positive in every situation because once I get it on a screen, I can see exactly where negativity may be dragging me down.

The only roadblock I've had, if you could really call it that, is this guilt trip I get from my older kids for "hogging" the computer on weekdays (won't happen when we start school, that much I guarantee) when they want to be online surfing and playing games. Deal with it, yung'uns, it's not your computer anyway!

High School Meme

Just who ARE those skinny people?

I've seen this at several blogs lately and with the public schools starting back today, it seemed kind of timely for me to give it a shot.

1. Who was your best friend? Going into high school, Stacy Pettinelli--but she quickly dumped me and my band geek ways for the glitz and glamour of the Chiefettes drill team members. After that, it was Pete.

2. Did you play any sports? Nope...no time!

3. What kind of car did you drive? I didn't drive. My parents let me try driving the T-bird once, then my mom freaked out and changed her mind. I didn't learn to drive till Pete and I bought our own car a year and a half after we were married.

4. It’s Friday night. Where were you? Marching on the football field during halftime, or sitting in the stands in a very hot and sticky polyester marching band uniform. Then there was that lovely, stinky bus ride home from away games...

5. Were you a party animal? Not even close.

6. Were you considered a flirt? Doubtful, unless you ask Colby Dyess. I don't want to know what he had to say...

7. Were you in the band, orchestra or choir? The band was my life. Marching band, concert band, band, band, band, band, BAND!
8. Were you a nerd? Yes. Good grades, glasses, AP classes, honor society. Oh yeah, and there's that BAND thing.

9. Were you ever suspended or expelled? Not even close. Look up "goody-two-shoes" in the dictionary and there was a picture of me. I was terrified of my own shadow, I didn't do ANYTHING to get in trouble in school.

10. Can you sing the fight song? I don't think I ever could sing it. Hum it, yes. All three trumpet parts and the drumline! Now, though...um, don't think so. It's one of those tunes I tried very hard to forget!

11. Who was your favorite teacher? Mr. Burdick, because I had a huge crush on him and he made my freshman English class less of a drudgery, but Mr. Fresco was a HOOT in AP World History--I didn't learn much about world history but I can still quote Monty Python!

12. What was your school mascot? the Chiefs

13. Did you go to the Prom? Nope.

14. If you could go back, would you? Not in a million years or for a million dollars.

15. What do you remember most about graduation? That the only one I went to was Pete's. I didn't graduate; I opted to get my GED during my junior year when the administration placed me in a teen parent program that took me out of my AP classes and put me in basic, remedial courses. It was mind-numbing, and I saw no point in continuing in what wasn't a real "education". During Pete's graduation a few months earlier, though, I remember clearly getting very choked up as Pete walked past the band (we, of course, were playing Pomp and Circumstance for the umpteenth time) and said "I'm outta here!"

16. Where were you on Senior Skip Day? Never happened, as I didn't have a senior year, but I seriously doubt I would have skipped had I gotten the chance--the idea of an unexcused absence on my record wasn't something I was looking forward to for any reason.

17. Did you have a job your senior year? Again, no senior year, but I wouldn't have been allowed to work during the school year anyway.

18. Where did you go most often for lunch? We didn't have an open campus; we "ate" at the cafeteria...YUCK.

19. Have you gained weight since then? I weighed 94 pounds my last day of high school. If I didn't gain weight, I'd have blown away by now.

20. What did you do after graduation? Again, no graduation ceremony for me. I got my diploma in the mail. Kind of a non-event!

21. What year did you graduate? 1990

22. Who was your Senior Prom Date? Didn’t go, our parents would have never allowed it, but I *would* have gone with Pete.

23. Are you going/did you go to your 10 year reunion? Nope. For starters, we were in Germany, but considering the last contact I had with anyone from high school was Phillip (Oakey) Mancusi telling me that I was ruining Pete's life by not getting an abortion and two of my "friends" saying that we'd never make it to see our first anniversary, I didn't really have much to go back for. Pete wants to go to his 20th, but we'll see.

Allow myself to introduce...myself.

I'm home from worship services today, sick with whatever this bug is that Morgan, Jamie, and I have been fighting for the last few days. On top of some online devotional reading, I chased a rabbit trail from Lisa's blog to Karen's blog to Robin's blog, and decided to try my hand at a personality profile, since I've got little physical energy for anything more and I'm not feeling particularly creative at the moment. Here's what I found out about me:



Kiersey calls my personality type the Healer Idealist. Yep, that sounds adequate. Here's what else he had to say about *me*:

Healer Idealists are abstract in thought and speech, cooperative in striving for their ends, and investigative and attentive in their interpersonal relations. Healer present a seemingly tranquil, and noticiably pleasant face to the world, and though to all appearances they might seem reserved, and even shy, on the inside they are anything but reserved, having a capacity for caring not always found in other types. (Everybody say it with me..."I'm not weird, I'm MISUNDERSTOOD!") They care deeply-indeed, passionately-about a few special persons or a favorite cause, and their fervent aim is to bring peace and integrity to their loved ones and the world. (Ding, ding, ding, ding, DING!)
Healers have a profound sense of idealism derived from a strong personal morality, and they conceive of the world as an ethical, honorable place. Indeed, to understand Healers, we must understand their idealism as almost boundless and selfless, inspiring them to make extraordinary sacrifices for someone or something they believe in. The Healer is the Prince or Princess of fairytale, the King's Champion or Defender of the Faith, like Sir Galahad or Joan of Arc. Healers are found in only 1 percent of the general population, although, at times, their idealism leaves them feeling even more isolated from the rest of humanity. (Huh...so THAT's why?)
Healers seek unity in their lives, unity of body and mind, emotions and intellect, perhaps because they are likely to have a sense of inner division threaded through their lives, which comes from their often unhappy childhood. Healers live a fantasy-filled childhood, which, unfortunately, is discouraged or even punished by many parents. In a practical-minded family, required by their parents to be sociable and industrious in concrete ways, and also given down-to-earth siblings who conform to these parental expectations, Healers come to see themselves as ugly ducklings. (So it wasn't just the feathers and webbed feet?) Other types usually shrug off parental expectations that do not fit them, but not the Healers. Wishing to please their parents and siblings, but not knowing quite how to do it, they try to hide their differences, believing they are bad to be so fanciful, so unlike their more solid brothers and sisters. (Ok, that was profound. No comment...just letting it sink in.) They wonder, some of them for the rest of their lives, whether they are OK. They are quite OK, just different from the rest of their family-swans reared in a family of ducks. Even so, to realize and really believe this is not easy for them. (Ya think???) Deeply committed to the positive and the good, yet taught to believe there is evil in them, Healers can come to develop a certain fascination with the problem of good and evil, sacred and profane. Healers are drawn toward purity, but can become engrossed with the profane, continuously on the lookout for the wickedness that lurks within them. Then, when Healers believe thay have yielded to an impure temptation, they may be given to acts of self-sacrifice in atonement. Others seldom detect this inner turmoil, however, for the struggle between good and evil is within the Healer, who does not feel compelled to make the issue public.

Woah. I need a moment to introspect.

Yep, that's me. To a 'T'. I read this about my type too, and found it amusing (from the Jung type descriptions):

INFP
creative, smart (AND humble...you forgot humble!), idealist, loner, attracted to sad things, disorganized (see previous blog entry!), avoidant, can be overwhelmed by unpleasant feelings, prone to quitting, prone to feelings of loneliness, ambivalent of the rules (don't tell me what I can't do!), solitary, daydreams about people to maintain a sense of closeness, focus on fantasies, acts without planning (or is that plans without acting?), low self confidence, emotionally moody, can feel defective, prone to lateness, likes esoteric things, wounded at the core, feels shame, frequently losing things, prone to sadness, prone to dreaming about a rescuer, disorderly, observer, easily distracted (ooh, look, shiny things!), does not like crowds, can act without thinking, private, can feel uncomfortable around others, familiar with the darkside (Luke, I am your father...), hermit (are you calling me crabby?), more likely to support marijuana legalization (NOT!!!!!!!!!!), can sabotage self, likes the rain, sometimes can't control fearful thoughts, prone to crying, prone to regret, attracted to the counter culture, can be submissive, prone to feeling discouraged, frequently second guesses self, not punctual, not always prepared, can feel victimized, prone to confusion, prone to irresponsibility, can be pessimistic

That list forgot something....hates run-on 'paragraphs' with a passion! Funny thing is, though, Pete would probably utter a hearty "AMEN" to roughly 99% of the descriptions in that list!

True to my 'type', I guess, now I'm wondering what on earth I DO with this knowledge????