That "home" feeling

Military life is not easy. I can't remember ever, in nearly 19 years, thinking "hey, this is a cake walk, I don't know why everyone thinks it's so tough". The deployments, the constant moving, the, erm, 'humble' paycheck and the predictable but yet unexpected yearly goofups in the finance department that keep us from ever having a real savings backup...those things are all challenges we've learned to just accept as the norm. But there is yet one thing that we haven't figured out a way to get around. It's just one of those things that we knew was there in the background but just had to ignore. We never really felt at "home" at any of our duty stations. In fact, this last tour in Germany, we didn't even put pictures up on the wall; it just didn't feel right.
It has been nearly two decades since we felt "at home"; in fact, it's been so long, we almost forgot what "home" feels like. Our family has never even really had a home. We've had houses, apartments, duplexes, and (ugh) even a mobile home. But every single one of those came with the thought in the back of our minds that it was VERY temporary. At any moment, the Army can pick you up and move you to somewhere else in the world, so you just don't put down roots. It's not a fun way to live, but you just get used to it. Until now, I'd almost forgotten what that "home" felt like.

I don't know how better to describe it other than to say that when you know it, you just know you're home. Talk of moving again and looking for a city to settle in have disappeared. Now that discussion is about retirement from the Army; about looking for a house, about planting those roots that we've had so loosely plunked in whatever soil we've been on. We look around us and we see people we want to be around for the rest of our lives. We see a church family that we already love dearly, and we see a community that we can invest our hearts in, not just a little bit of our time.

We're home. And it's WONDERFUL.

Our little fashion diva

This was just one teensy little facet of girlhood that completely eluded me. This particular tomboy couldn't have cared less about playing dress-up, but I've somehow been gifted with four (five? We shall see...) girls who live for experimenting with clothing, shoes, hats, etc.

Poor Dani. Seems she's inherited Daddy's ability to coordinate. Sigh.

Bear with me...

I'm NOT computer-savvy. I wiped out my entire blog layout. There. I said it. I'm now trying to re-establish a lot of what I lost without losing MORE. I'm also trying to revamp things a bit to suit my tastes so my blog isn't so....vanilla. Not an easy task for ungeeky-types like me. I'm a nerd, not a geek.

Oy.

MINE!

There are very few things that I truly refuse to share in this life. Well, okay, one I won't bend on--my hubby. However, when it comes to the York Peppermint Patties, my socks, hair spray, even the Mint Milano cookies and a Pepsi...I'll gladly offer a bit to someone else. I'm not even really selfish with my time, either, except when it comes to the precious few minutes I'll steal every day (or two, or even three....depending on how much really needs to get done around the house) to get online and blog.

It's MY time. I don't blog to benefit anybody but me. I could, but I don't make money with this little hobby. I just write, tweak, add pictures, and visit a few other blogs. And I am not willing to give it up. It may not make much sense to my family, but I really do need this outlet, even if no one were to ever read anything I write.

My blogging adventure started out as a way to network with other people. I was lonely over there in Germany, and I just needed "something" to connect to others. I found it...and then some. After a month or two, I wasn't doing it just to share pictures anymore. It was truly a means of clearing my mind, getting my thoughts out of my head, and even categorizing daily life for myself so when I went back to scrapbook those events, I had a written recollection instead of just vague memories.

I saw a t-shirt the other day that I told Pete I simply "must have". It said, simply, "I blog, therefore I am." How true, how true. He didn't get it. He said it was silly. But yet I can understand so well why that sentiment makes perfect sense. Blogging, at least for me, is a way to keep in touch with what makes me "me". And it's all mine. I scrapbook for more than just selfish reasons. Sure, it's a great hobby, and I truly enjoy my time at my scrap table surrounded by glue, pictures, papers, and embellishments. However, I'm not the only one to benefit from that hobby. I use my time scrapping to catalogue family history, to preserve moments in time for future generations; and already, at least one future generation is benefitting from my efforts. My girls love to sit with a scrapbook and talk about the stories behind the pictures.

Not so with my blogging. There are things I blog about that most people (yes, MOST) would not even know about me. But I'm not writing really for "their" benefit. It's for me that I write. I'm thrilled that anything I write can encourage or entertain anyone else, and I'm just tickled pink to have so many visitors to my blog, but I'm mostly thankful that I have this means of self-expression that I normally would not have. I feel freer to open up my mind and just...oh, I don't know, let all the fodder flow from brain to keyboard. Some days what's in my mind is ridiculously silly, other days I am pondering some great quandry of life, and on yet other days my heart is hurting and I just need to "get it out". I love my blog time. It's therapy for me, and it only takes a precious few minutes a day!

I'll continue to be selfish with my blog time; it's good for me, and it's one of the very few things I can claim as "mine".

It's September? Seriously?

Who turned the calendar speed up to "ludicrous"? [For those of you who think I've lost it....go watch "Spaceballs". On second thought, no, don't. It's insulting to the intelligence. Just humor me.]

During an oddly quiet and peaceful moment last night, Pete and I were actually sitting on the couch at the same time (GASP!) doing some channel surfing. We've still not gotten the hang of all of these channel choices, considering we only had a small handful of channels available to us in Germany. So it's no surprise that we're admittedly overwhelmed by the variety at our fingertips now. But anyway, we were bouncing between the Food Network, HGTV, and the Discovery Channel (our tried and true standby trio) when we happened upon "Road Tasted With the Neelys". This BBQ couple from Memphis was traveling in San Fransisco sampling some of the local fare, talking about how this was a little like a second honeymoon to them, and Pete and I both wondered out loud when we'd take our second honeymoon. See how our life is just one huge digression after another?

It's not like we've had much time to travel on purpose over the last 18 years...with twelve military moves under our belts plus all those trips to visit family so they didn't all forget what our kids looked like (or the other way around), we have done very little traveling for fun. In 18 years, Pete and I have taken a total of three one-night trips away from the kiddos. The weird realizations of just how much of "normal" life we've not had any part of during his Army career keep hitting us, and this one was no different. In two years, give or take, we'll be civilians. Able to do normal civilian things. And yet, we still can't even THINK like civilians. We still think in terms of four-day-weekends, training schedules, and operation tempos. The idea that maybe one day we can do something just for US is still a tad foreign...but we're getting there.

Then, like a brick, another realization hit us--it's SEPTEMBER already! Our nineteenth anniversary is less than three weeks away, and neither one of us has even thought far enough ahead to even consider that we have an anniversary this month! Thanksgiving is creeping up on us fast, Christmas is only a few months away, and Danica's second birthday--just a bit over six weeks away!

NO plans for anything, unless you count the two of us agreeing that a trip to the Bahamas might be nice for a second honeymoon...and then laughing at the futility of that thought!

Do-Over!

Well that worked out well--NOT! Today was supposed to be our first day of the new homeschool year. It didn't happen. About 11pm last night, I realized that our very first day was going to be "nuts" before we ever hit the books. I'd STILL not gotten the opportunity to organize Kelsey's schoolwork to my satisfaction, we had an appointment at 9:30 in the morning, and the house is not up to par thanks to my little toe-breaking incident (let's not go there, shall we?) last Friday and again on Sunday. YES, I broke my toe twice in three days. Hey, I said I don't wanna go there, okay?

Kelsey also threw another wrench into the works this morning. Ten minutes after getting out of bed, she told me that yes, she DID want to trade bedrooms with the baby. Her room is a wee bit too small for her tastes, and she is finally getting tired of having her bedroom on the bottom floor of the house, right in the middle of everything. So....by lunchtime, she was moving furniture.

We're starting school next Monday. It works out better for all of us. Pete's work schedule kind of got us off track when he got Monday and Tuesday off for Labor Day instead of Friday and Monday like we've always been accustomed to. There's just something about starting something in a halfway-finished week that bugs the you-know-what out of me. So we're not starting mid-week. We have time to rework schedules, heal toes, and get these bedrooms done!

After all, one of homeschooling's greatest assets is being able to work the kids' education around life and not the other way around, so we're working it!

Siamese chickens?

This must rate right up there with one of my oddest topics to blog about...


I've found several eggs that contained double yolks, but never one that the twins shared a yolk sac! I'm not sure whether this intrigued me or just plain grossed me out. Didn't affect the taste of my fried chicken, tho!

Was that really two weeks?

Did'ja ever notice that when things are the busiest, life seems to take off out from underneath you and SPEED past at light speed? I remember distinctly telling Jon and Kelsey something to the effect that the last 45 days in Germany would pass quicker than they'd ever imagine, but I certainly do NOT remember anyone telling me how quickly life would fly by once we were here, settled in, and "calmed down".

Where did the last two weeks go?

In the space of just fourteen days, we've brought a newborn home from the hospital, brought a soldier "home" from basic training, said a tearful goodbye to a cat that we've had longer than four of our children, and spent a full six days trying to keep track of which of our family members were in the middle of Tropical Storm Fay's deluge on Florida....not to mention the countless friends who have been affected since she breached Florida's borders!

It's only now, though, that we're realizing how quickly everything happened over the last two weeks. Routines are being established with the new baby, Pete is going back to work next week, and I finally am finding space in my fridge between all the leftovers of meals that were provided to us by folks at church (and other friends here in town).

I read something today that I've seen before several times but it never really clicked in my mind till today: "Life is lived forward, but understood backward". How true that is! Sad that we spend so much time looking back at the brief moments that speed past us. However, I think it may be sadder still if we spend that time in regret, instead of learning from the trials, blessings, and yes, even the chaos.

One of the lessons I learned while I was in the hospital after Shelby's birth was the value of slowing down and just taking everything in. When Dani was born, a herd of elephants holding the front doors shut couldn't have kept me from leaving that hospital just 24 hours after she arrived. I had things to do...I was tired of being cooped up and "imprisoned" in the hospital, and I would have jumped out the window to get away because I wanted to get home and get on with life. I pretty much kept up that pace until Shelby was born, and it exhausted me to the bone. The night of Shelby's birth, my body (and mind) finally yielded to the pent-up exhaustion. I'd had a relatively pain-free (hey, epidurals are our FRIENDS, girls!) labor, an easy delivery, and (aside from my completely numb and lifeless right leg for the first four hours) seamless recovery. But WOW did I hit a wall that evening! My nurse encouraged me to take full advantage of the time Shelby had to be under observation in the transitional nursery (and to take advantage of the wonderful pain medication they offered me) and just REST. I did.

That rest was the best rest I've had in......well, years. I didn't sleep all that well, because let's face it, when you're getting your blood pressure monitored once an hour, having nurses come in and poke and prod in areas that you'd just rather they leave alone, and the lab tech Dracula comes in to invade your veins in the wee hours of the morning, sleep isn't something you can get much of. But just resting...sitting in a quiet, dark, peaceful room with no one but the Lord to keep you company......it's amazingly restful. And very rejuvinating.

After that period of rest, I was no longer in a hurry. It didn't bother me one bit that the doctors wanted to keep both of us the full 48 hours; it didn't affect me at all that life beckoned on the outside and that Pete and the other kids had "places to go, people to see". I spent a great deal of time doing nothing, and it felt GREAT. I chit-chatted with nurses. I made small talk with consultants who came from every possible walk of life to offer me their services and a few minutes of their time. I took note of every detail of Shelby's little face. For the first time, I just drank in every minute of life.

It's a good thing, too, because those minutes disappeared quicker than I could keep track of. They're gone forever; but I've learned SO much from them! Oh, by the way, that "still, small voice"? It's there. And after thousands of years, that voice still says,

"Be still, and know that I am God."

It was only a matter of time

We've had such an amazing string of good fortune these last few months, it was bound to happen sooner or later. I'm just thankful it wasn't something "bigger", although this did break my heart.

I had to rush to the animal hospital yesterday with a barely-breathing 14-year-old cat clinging to my lap and gasping for air. It did not end well. My sweet kitty Cleo is gone, after a few hours of labored efforts at getting air into her fluid-logged lungs. The vet's short answer for what happened was extremely advanced heart disease.

It still hurts.

It's about that time again

Soon visions of giggly little girls happily splashing in our teeny inflated backyard pool will be replaced with visions of giggly little girls sitting amongst piles and stacks of books, crayons, scissors, paste, and......chemistry sets.

HUH?

Yep, this year marks a new oddity for our family. We will have both a kindergartener and an eleventh grader hitting the books as the new school year begins. It's time for refocusing. The move from Germany is now far behind us, we're [mostly] settled in (with the unfortunate exception of the six boxes left in the master bedroom that just refuse to unpack themselves, the blasted things!), and the first glimpses of Fall are starting to peek through all of the deep, dark green that surrounds us.

I was nowhere near ready to begin our new homeschool year when the public schools started back at the beginning of the month. It was just far too crazy still here in our house. But then again, we've always started school right after Labor Day, so why break the trend?

Where's my planbook? OOOOOOOOH!!! I need a flashy new pen! Check it out, I can go to Office Depot now! Oh, and Wal-Mart, Staples, Hobby Lobby.....

The circle of life!

I can almost hear Elton John singing in the background, can't you? Visions of Simba and Mufassa watching the sunset on the savannah...combined with the new sight of my hubby sitting on the couch patting our newborn while our son dons a uniform to go to work....wow.

What an odd weekend that was! Last weekend, we had four children at home, but this past Saturday, we finally had all SIX, and it really was a bit surreal. Pete and I had never imagined in our wildest dreams that we'd have a family this size, but we are just so thankful that we've been blessed with each and every one of them. Even with all their "issues". Sleepless nights (up with the newborns AND worrying about the teens), potty training, temper tantrums, colic, picky eaters, nitro-powered ADHD flurries of motion and endless activity, more temper tantrums, sibling squabbles, snotty noses, lost hairbows and stepped-on Lego blocks; I'll take all of it a hundred times over. I wouldn't trade this life for anything.

As "easy" as it was to transition into life with a newborn again, we never really saw this new phase of life coming as quickly as it did. We fully expected to have Jon still at home when this baby came into the world, but he (and the recruiter) had other plans. The "kid" we picked up from the airport on Saturday was no child. Our oldest is now a man, and that is, to say the least, a bit WEIRD. He stands taller, walks with a purpose, and has no time for laziness anymore. He can hold his own in real, adult conversations. He spent several hours discussing online banking, cell phone plans, and car insurance with his dad. Gone is the talk of doing something reckless for the sake of adrenaline rushes. This is a young man who understands how to savor life--not to mention a really good Reuben sandwich! Much different from the boy we saw walk away from us at the airport in Frankfurt two and a half months ago.

Pete had one of "those" moments yesterday too, so it wasn't just me ruminating the oddities of our new life with an adult child. After taking Jon to the barracks to sign in and get set up here, on his own and apart from the "home" he's known for the last eighteen years, Pete walked back in the front door noting how life had finally come full circle for us. You see, eighteen years and one month ago, a gangly Private First Class arrived in Huntsville to begin training here on Redstone Arsenal. A month later, his wife and four-month-old son moved up from Florida to be with him. Now Pete is an instructor at that same school, and the four-month-old baby? Well...take a look:

Introducing......

Shelby Grace!

Born just two days after our computer decided to inconveniently crash and leave us without any means of sharing pictures, this little girl made her entrance into the world almost three weeks early, after what amounted to a seamless and amazingly uncomplicated induction.

We're all doing fine, and you wouldn't know that we just added a sixth child to our brood if you were to analyze the activity levels in our household--little Shelby slid right into family life without even the slightest speedbump! It's true, the more you have, the easier it gets. Truly. Although we do still laugh that we have to go through the step-by-step Newborn Care 101 quick-course every time we're discharged from the hospital. This time, it was a six-month-pregnant 23-year-old first-time-mom nurse giving the intro for us. Somehow that made it even funnier!

I'm sure that after tomorrow, I'll have, oh.......a dozen or two pictures to add with Shelby's oldest sibling in his crisp, shiny, new Army duds after Jon comes home from basic training, but for now, I'll just share what I do have--little snapshots into our life as it is, right now.

Itty bitty critters

It seems as if the first couple of months settling in here in Alabama have found our lives just chock full of little teeny creatures. I'll spare you the details of the SPIDERS (eww.....) that seem to inhabit every corner of everything. It's indeed been a while since we've had to deal with bugs. Oh, and just as an aside, contrary to what one may believe, Germany is not overrun with German roaches! Back on task....

One of the first things Pete and I noticed as we inspected our new house was that we have rather CLOSE neighbors. They actually live in our carport! What we first thought to be a wasp nest turned out to be a well-built swallow nest, and lo and behold, there were babies in it! They weren't really happy about their new neighbors, and on several occasions the mama and daddy birds summoned up a little swarm of their peers to let Pete know just how disgusted they were that he would have the audacity to park in their carport!

At any rate, though, we had about three weeks with our chattery little neighbors before the babies fledged. Now the neighborhood rooftops are patroled by a whole new shift of swallows!

The other teensy addition to our household is a more permanent resident. While Pete and I were getting all of our signing-in, lease-signing, and setting-up done up here in Huntsville in the middle of June, Kelsey and Morgan stayed with Grandma in Florida. They came across a stray kitten being attacked by another cat and true to her genes, Kelsey decided that we HAD to save him. She and Grandma took little "Booger" to the vet to be treated for an eye infection and to get a once-over plus his kitten shots, and when I brought all of our girls home a week later, a little black and white "baby" came home with us!

I was not thrilled with the name Kelsey had picked out for this little creature--something about the girls telling folks at church all about their "Booger" didn't sit right with me. We tried out several names, then finally after his brute personality surfaced along with a very obvious dorkiness, we settled on calling him Ty. Anyone who has ever seen video footage of the infamous Mike Tyson ear-biting and even a single episode of Extreme Makeover Home Edition with Ty Pennington running amok all over the jobsite will "get it".

The Ty monster is fitting in pretty well--even with the two other critters in the house. Ginormous (compared to Ty, anyway) Jake isn't really all that thrilled about the miniscule little ball of fluff and claws that takes every opportunity to attack him, but we already knew that this 90-pound mutt was pretty much just an overgrown baby anyway. No, Jake hasn't taken a single nip at the kitten. All he does is howl like he's being dismembered when Ty goes after his ears/legs/tail. We couldn't ask for a better cat-dog!

Cleo, our 14-year-old queen of the roost, isn't a bit pleased to be sharing the planet with Ty, but she ALLOWS him to share the windowsill, the foot of the bed, and the water dish. He does have a nasty habit of trying to get a tad too close, though, and Cleo always responds with a good swat atop the head.

As for other itty bitty critters.....still no [human] baby, and it looks now as if I may not have to have as much medical intervention as I thought! All the not-so-fun health issues have mysteriously cleared up, and baby and I are completely healthy--albeit a tad miserable in this steamy Southern summer heat! I'll hit the 37-week-mark on Sunday, and since I've never actually made it to my due date (even when medical science didn't intervene), I'm sure we'll get to meet this nameless little girl fairly soon!

The name game, version 6

We've not really had an "easy" time naming any of our children, but when a name suddenly felt "right", we knew to stick with it. Well, suddenly now after how many weeks of being set on Stefani Kate, it just doesn't feel right. Especially since we got to see this fat little face a couple of weeks ago during the only 4D ultrasound I've ever had--she's just not looking like a Stefani! See?This little pudge (and this was at 33 weeks, mind you, she was already quite the chubster two weeks ago!) looks just like big sister Morgan, but with more 'fluff'. She's got the Harker brow, Morgan and Kelsey's pudgy little nose, and some seriously fat cheeks for a 33-weeker! When I had my doctor's appointment yesterday, the doctor did another ultrasound and even HE said she's a chunk!

Anyhoo, we're still set on using Pete's grandmother's name for her middle name, and that's Kathleen. Now it's just settling on a first name that has us stumped! I detest not "knowing" what a baby's name is, but this one may be a lot like Kelsey in that she gets her name the minute we look at her in person!

Guess what I found?????

MY CAMERA CABLE AND CHARGER!!!! And in, of all places, the front closet where Pete's keys "live" when they're not in his pocket. Right there, in plain sight, on the very top shelf. Funny. I was in there looking for a set of valances I've still not found! Is there a black hole sucking in stuff that I'm looking for?

WOWSERS there is a ton of blogging to be done with all of these pictures I've accumulated!! But first things first, let me show you how far we've come in the last....um.....lemme think.....seven weeks.

From this (checking in at the Frankfurt International Airport on June 13th)
To this (trying desperately to keep the monstrous box mountain OUT of the house while awaiting pickup of the discarded cardboard)
To this (Ahh, sweet rest.....at least for SOME of us!)
It's nice to have my camera capabilities back!