Tuesday, August 28, 2007

Tackle It Tuesday--Emotional Decluttering, Scheduling

Tackle It Tuesday Meme

My task for this Tuesday is twofold--I'm decluttering my heart, and "ordering my day". It's not just about the housework today.
I doubt but maybe a rare handful of people in cyberspace will understand this decluttering project of mine, but it just needs to be done. I have no idea whether the person I have in mind will read this or not; I have no way of knowing, actually, but since there is no other feasible way to do this without endangering my family, I'm doing it here in the offchance that she has stumbled upon my little corner of the 'net and is reading my ramblings. I've had a HARD time struggling with this for nearly two and a half years, and I've been trying desperately to reach a point where I could just let this go. It's time. I want my heart free of this; the weight of it is just too much to bear anymore, and it's done little more than remain a daily reminder of Satan's power. I don't want that reminder anymore. So, LG, you know who you are. You know why I'm saying this. And you know why it has been so hard for me to reach this point. I forgive you. I'm sorry I had any part in any of your pain, and I hope you either have or eventually will release that and me in forgiveness. I have nothing but pain left in my heart, but I pray daily that God will turn that pain to love. I want the best for you and your boys, and I hope and pray with all my heart that one day this very fractured and toxic relationship can be made perfect in Heaven. I plan on being there, I only hope bitter and selfish traps set by Satan don't keep you from meeting me there and reconciling in God's presence. It's very difficult for me to say this, but I do still love you.
**long, cleansing breath**

It's amazing how absolutely freeing that was.

**one more cleansing breath, and a second cup of coffee**

Moving on to more practical matters, I'm going to be spending the remainder of my day getting organized for school. I'm mostly ready in the curriculum/lesson plan department, with the exception of the biology and grammar books I'm STILL waiting on (I'm getting too many opportunities to practice that patience I've never prayed for...), but my scheduling and household management leaves a lot to be desired. I think I'm going to be 'enrolling' myself in Home Management Binder University over at Keeping the Home, and dedicating some concentrated time into getting myself together. I tried Teri Maxwell's Managers of Their Homes, but it was just SOOO overwhelming that I couldn't ever get it all arranged. I'd love to be able to use a schedule like she has, because it's simply amazing--but I get completely bogged down in all those little squares, and it's just too much for me. I need something simpler! Lessee.....goals......objectives......
  • Pete wants a copy of our daily "plan" on the refrigerator so he can see what has and hasn't been accomplished--makes him feel a bit more connected to us and it really appeals to his "duty roster" nature!
  • The girls need something they can feel organized with like the rest of us. Might help for them to grasp days of the week and a daily routine as well.
  • Jon and Kelsey need to be able to see what is expected of them and when.
  • I need some form of accountability, and I do tend to work well when I can see what I've got ahead of me so I don't get distracted in fifty different directions at once.
  • We need continuity--a plan that shows us all what needs to get done so we actually accomplish things in a priority that serves our family without leaving all the necessities undone. We're all FAR too quick to jump ship on housekeeping chores when there's the possibility of doing something spontaneous.
  • Lists are good. I may detest them, but hey, lists ARE good.

Time to go read. I've got a "class" to take! Hmm, I wonder if all of this is going to actually FIT in my 3-ring binder?

Hmm, while I'm at it, maybe I'll go ahead and write the Scriptures of the Day on our dry-erase board (since Pete forgot today in his haste to get to work way too early). What are they, you ask?

So teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom. Psalm 90:12

Let all things be done decently and in order. 1 Corinthians 14:40


ZAM said...

That's a heavy emotional burden you must be carrying there. Glad you finally deloaded yourself with that.

The dry-erase board with verses is making me smile. God bless

Anonymous said...

Kris... {{hugs}} I know things like that are hard to say in person as well as in writing. If that person does find your blog, I pray that God deals with her heart.

We use dry erase boards to write verses on too!

My TT is up at"

Tackle It Tuesday

Jennifer said...

I can totally relate to your emotional decluttering. I've had to do that before too - not really a fun thing! I'm sure you are feeling better about that now!

Sounds like you have lots to accomplish - best wishes with all that. And lists are wonderful. We are in the 3rd week of school, and this year, for the first time, I feel on top of things - mostly because of my lists and my calendar. It is helping so much! I pray you find something that works perfectly for your family! Blessings!

Cara said...

I hope our emotional declutter brings you peace.

Barbara H. said...

We so often forget that we need emotional, mental, and spiritual decluttering more often that housecleaning decluttering.

Karen (Pediascribe) said...

A lot of times the emotional clutter is so much harder to deal with than the physical clutter. Glad you were able to vent and you feel better. I've had to do the same thing with the toxic "LG" in my life.

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